Destro.

Okay no bother

@Sn00p

Poems are due tonight midnight.

Or do still need an ext?

Could we get some votes??

I'll be voting later on today

@Vulgar - Third ''choose a topic'' in a row. Is this going to be an ongoing trend? If it is count me out as I feel it doesn't inspire people (and myself) to try different shit, I see more use of that in the AOWL.

You're right. I'll make a plan to switch things up, brutha.

Good looks man, you guys doing a great job so far. It's dope that you're running it.

really glad you found this.

In 10 words or less (jk), what's the difference between the poetry and the raps?.. I mean, some pieces are obvious, but some look to be just like raps&what is normally done.

This isn't a bad thing. Many of them are dope, but like I said not to many distinguishing characteristics (on some)..

So, am just curious.

I will be reading more of these.

I'm probably the guy who you should listen to the least, but my take it simple. I have competed in many topical battles and leagues over the past decade, but just about every battle I have taken place in, while voting someone will mention my poetical voice or cadence or something of that nature. I stayed early 2000's, God that just put shit I'm perspective, fml, anyways... Basically when I write a poem I am writing natural because I consider my verses in the aowl to be more poetry in the first place. So the answer, for me at least is there is zero difference. Again, I'm sure if everyone you answered except for maybe inno or patrown, I consider them poets first to, you will get different answers.

@Rakontur, that poem was fire this week.

I've been slacking heavily on my craft. I'm going to make an effort to step it ^

THANKS FOR SHOWING EVERYBODY.

@Witty, come home. @Ruck You dabble in poetry?

Not since school, I'll try vote/leave feedback though .. Unless you fools are really picky on who votes/how much poetry knowledge they have?

Can you go vote on my first battle on here? Weak yeah but it's still the same story chasing people to vote as RF hahah fuck smh

@Ruck: All kind of feed/activity is great, I'm sure that with limited knowledge of writing/poetry/whatever can give a different kind of insight than what someone that is surrounded by it does and vice versa.

That said; I apologize a lot to everyone for not voting enough last week. My internet provider decided to send me a bill I had forgot about from fucking 2014 and closed down my internet without notifying me on mail/phone first which I have specifically asked for (and according to them: not a problem at all!)... So yeah, I've been without internet for a few days now, posting this from work. Got internet on my phone but it's sketchy to do and I lost a lot of words when I was halfway done with a vote because I tapped my finger on the wrong place.

Lame excuse, I know... But it's all I got. Thanks a lot for quality voting the past week and tons of great feed. Stay up all!

@Adonis
Thank you for take on the matter.
It's an interesting discussion. And slowly I'm forming my own opinions of the differences, both the noticeable and the very subtle; both on the technical side and the content side.
I don't have time to go into a rant about it right now, but will continue to read. It is commendable how you guys dive into this realm and explore it, even if it is not always everybody's cup of tea or comfort zone.

Ok I know this usually isn't a place for feedback on writings, but with the particular verse I am talking about, the voting is over and the thread is closed. And this is a discussion area so w/e, sue me.

Don't wanna simply PM it, because you never know when someone else's feedback on someone else's shit could help someone else, however slightly.
Particularly when it's feedback from someone awesome -- like me.
@Godcomplex
I've looked at your Week 6 championship with Rakontur.
First off, a bunch more qualifiers to my comments
1 - my comment here narrowly focuses on your 2nd verse
2 - i'm specifically talking about rhyme&structure
3 - frankly I am talking about it as it relates to "normal" "rap" verses, because it flowed like one. And because I want to.
4 - you may already know this,

but I feel it is important to be said

In that 2nd verse I see tools of yours which in my opinion you do not utilize enough. Rarely has it jumped out at me in the things you write, primarily because you are usually doing some more complex structures and vocabulary.

The journey of a young traveler,
Whose journey is purely magical,
Imagine having a soul, with happiness sown.
Yet, ghosts still attack as if spoken to bad
But, with one strike of his staff their emotions collapse.
Protected by a talisman created by some savages,
But, its powers are marvelous. With it-
An orphan can survive his fatherless apocalypse.

As, for sacred geometry reflecting consciousness,
That's just deceit used to mentally soften us.
I hope you've enjoyed discussing with us,
How you went from being child into taking them for hostages.

What I see here is a very fluid flow with a different kind of scheme than your usual.
One could argue that a writer, in a certain sense, might "dumb things down" for these affects. However that is not always a bad thing if "said dumbing down" involves a meticulous effort to make things flow, and more importantly be succinct while still being powerful.

I am biased of course because I do enjoy these kind of rhyme schemes with quick hitting multis, some of them being on the same line... Sometimes just doing a rhyme couplet and then changing the rhyme on the next couplet, but sometimes carrying it on for more than 2 lines.

Frankly if you had done the same style in the first verse I thought the entirety would have been more complete&connected, but perhaps you purposefully went for a contrast.

Which is fine. All I am saying is, take a look at that 2nd verse which you yourself wrote, and try to understand why I like it.. by examining it yourself moreso than my convoluted multitude of reasons I've laid out here.

Long story short, I think you should "try it more".. Certainly not with every piece you do, and certainly don't force it when you don't feel it's appropriate. But keep experimenting. It never hurts to add another knife to the drawer.. to throw that changeup when the reader is expecting a fastball.

This is some powerful feed right here. The quoted portion from the artist formely known as Buddha, yet will still be called so, maybe GOD, undecided, is really dope. The couplets you, Buddha, went with are hitting stride to perfection. I actually didn't even catch this when I read it, But I'm still proud of the outcome. I feel like you, Buddha, have a top 3 skill set in recent history of the aowl dating back to season one even, but utilizing all of your upper echelon bag of tricks don't always mesh. I know I'm more of a fan then most because I take my time and read your shit in awe over the pure knowledge you drop, and this to me makes you great, great in the literal sense. But it, at the same time, takes you down a notch. What pharaoh eluded to regarding dumbing down, I feel like you have yet to discover that happy median, and only the great ones and persistent ones do. I know you are persistent, and there is a green zone somewhere between dropping your knowledge on a scale where even I can understand, yet reaching the masses of say Tali Rodriguez or @sacrifice (come play). Basically, just keep being you because that shit is two thumbs up brother


Great feed Pharaoh, no clue who you are but you cross me as deep thinker I feel like you should sign in tonight

Thanks.. Ok I will.. I truly love being assigned a topic. So in that respect I would love to do these sorts of things, especially with regular verses over poetry (but will try it here).

But, I do not like that it will probably be "fake", on my part.. (btw any1 who reads this don't hold that against me in voting, lmao)
By that I mean... unless the topic strikes some nerve or I am in a rare mood, I will write what I consider a "good poem", but not feel anything, or associate any meaning with it other than I'm trying to make a good piece of writing.

Kinda why I've not been bothering. But never hurts to try



I do that all the time. Lol join

I am also competing in the infamous AOWL

while I love writing, I love writing two verses even more. This might be more to your liking?

Either way, compete and enjoy that shit. Life is too short not to beat a peer 10-0 we should all be so lucky to do so. I'm currently still striving to do so, one day though

Thanks for the excellent post-match feed @Pharaohs Army. What you said is very useful, and I agree it never hurts to add another tool to the toolbox. Lol, just read some of the tags. Anyways, this type of discussions are good, it strengthens our community, as we discuss these literary techniques and stylistic perspectives.
What I feel is missing in our board is community discussions on this fine points that we bring up. This is something I have learned from scholarly circles, as of late, how to discuss said material, in ways that are vastly unspoken about, without bringing my own emotional content and viewpoints into play. I mean we have good writers here, I have made my writing much more poignant spending time here learning from others. Unfortunately, I feel sometimes that learning is hindered is because we get caught up in the weave of hindrance that stems from our own individual need to prove something, and any form of idea from others that dispels our own subjective notions becomes a threat. And so, tension forms and we lose sight of the greater whole, of why we're here. To write and to get better, and have fun in the process, if this wasn't fun I wouldn't be doing it, but ultimately my fun stems from challenging myself.

You bring up good points, both you and Adonis. And honestly, I will say that I didn't spend the time needed to conquer the fire that Adonis brought, mostly because I was tired and in my stupor I was rushing things. In my opinion, I made an inferior product, I'm not discontent that adds unneeded frustration, but its not something I look to objectively and I am amazed by. I always find it amusing that the verses I write really fast are verses people like sometimes, and verses I spent crafting in a timely manner, relatively, get the thumbs down. It's comical in a way, and I've learned from it actually.

And I am humbled by Adonis holding me in such high esteem, but you know there's tons of great lyricists here and I like to use them as vehicles for greater learning. And actually, I do wish @sacrifice came out of hiding, him and I had a great conversation on many aspects of life, including writing and rhyming, and he is one that could contribute greatly to this largely unknown field of writing that we do. There is other writers here that have very perceptive eyes for little details, unfortunately, they're blinded sometimes by their own need of self-gratification and do not typically give feed to others because they cannot interact with other writers without the need for self-worshipping. Thus, in a way, we lose a plateau for continually developing ourselves. To continually raise the bar.

I've also been working at that medium that Adonis alluded to, but its an ongoing process I have tried to chip at, I'm an eternal student after all. As for calling me, GOD, you can still call me by my former name, but truthfully the word GOD means little to me, so you can call me that too, lol, although it will distort the meaning of what my new name aimed at.

And Pharaoh, I think you will do well in this poetry league here, sign in, if you have the time.

I never really experienced that myself, writing without an internal stirring of some kind; artistic inspiration really is just our own internal musings that become so strong we must convey them, in order for cathartic release. In my case, I need to find the right track to write to, if not I find it difficult to write. I heard Zygote listened to 10 Canibus tracks at once for inspiration, lol, that's an amusing image to conjure. But, yeah try to find that spark that helps keep your ideas flowing, while keeping a calm heart, which is essential to not worrying and taking too long overthinking one line. Keeps the mental processes not stagnated, so our CPU's work better.

dafuq is going on up here? this is news to me.

I do that all the time. Lol join

@Vulgar, don't let me down by not showing.

Nevermind. My days of the week are muddled, lol.

Great post, and very true. We're lucky to have you.

sorry for the noshow, @Rakontur. I thought I'd really have all the time in the world after being done with finals, but then I had ppl visiting and we were doing shit 24/7 so I really didn't find the time. my bad.

Aint no thing bro

I don't mind, i mean sure it sucks cause i wrote, but a win is a win brother.

I can no check Snoop of my list of accomplishments

How bout soem votes fellas?

On it now

And you were spot on with my verse.

Topic was writing from the perspective of a child

The first stanza was Michael as a child being forced to create a perfect voice through constant practice

The second stanza is him later in life, an adult with a childs mind. I lost interest, I wanted to incorporate Neverland Ranch some, but got lazy

Lazy is inaccurate, i spent a lot of time trying to fit in title tracks of his career in second verse. This was tideous

Word man poem was on point this week. Too bad snoop didnt show, prolly would of been a dope battle

Good week ya'll.

I'm gonna try and post new battles by tonight... so get yur v0tes in plz.

@Vulgar

Ama try to post the mag during this week.

Dont doubt me son.

Also your gonna edit next weeks poem for me lol


Edit.


Fucking dope week tbh. Lookin forward to seeing what knuck and dan got to offer next week

Indeed!

I'll vote on everyones shit this week. My bad, figured I'd caught a no-show and that was it, I didn't realise my thread had been left open for feed.

I've got you guys.

Yeh same here, I was gonna do it this lunch time during work, didn't have time last night.

Got the phone sorted @sraL?

nah, I've told Ben i'll have his off him but obv got no way of arranging to meet up and physically get it atm lol

@Nigma and all

Going to leave this here.

So dope

It's off that playlist I give you though

@Innovator

How come you can't receive PM's all the sudden?

I just spent three minutes of my life talking to you on some real level shit for naught

It all ended in happiness though

xoxo

@MMLP I'M READY WHEN YOU ARE

HOLLA