o fuck

Owns a horse named bro. Feeds.the horse printed verses from ill nika.

This nigga put Johnny Tsunami on a stretcher. Then he proceeded to rub him down.

Plays bass in an ironic death metal Mozart cover band.

hasn't missed a journal entry since early 95

Shaves his unibrow.

Begins workouts with a Mohican rain dance holding his scrotum in the air proclaiming the "Power of the Earth" accompanied by the Captain Planet theme song.

He has an Airbud tattoo on his left thigh

this nigga has perpendicular quadriceps
Spraying Mantis
Lookin like he sued the 365 day calendar company when not a single Page-a-Day cured his crippling locker buddy anxiety

Gives He-Man a run for his money doing hair-studded human dildo impressions.

blew his valentine a kiss and was brought in on petty larceny

Professor X and Ham

Looking like a shy, under developed Samson with down syndrome trying to make it big at the local chess club.

Looking like the type of guy to hire a private investigator to spy on a waitress, using the information to hit on her by finding out what books she reads, then finding other titles by the same author and bringing them to her restaurant while he coyly smiles, betraying his interest but not his obsession, while ordering the same sandwich she makes for herself on breaks with two slight twists, wheat instead of sourdough and no tomato, all while hoping one day she might subconsciously determine him to be her soulmate.

allergic to the 90s

Sweeney Todd is his barber

Idea of a wild night is giving Neighbor's rimjob drink a literal meaning.

Type of nigga to spend 5 days caved in a rock tunnel only to pull out a bibliography of Justin Bieber and start reading when presented with the light at the end of the tunnel.

Carries peanut oil on hand for any excuse to flex his shit while attempting variations of the Bohemian cartwheel.

This nigga looks like the Pool-Aid Man.

Every old white woman, to him: "You look just like my grandson."

this faggot aka the only living Beatles member left look shook as fuck while Ugly Betty tryna get his digits. meanwhile, Bert from Sesame Street seems to finally waxed his unibrow and got a fresh line-up after decades