I'm outtie.
This is fycked

A

i must listen to the wise walrus - option B

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9qGSYPc42E

^recognize and analyze


Warning: epic muthafucking post right here


THE FINAL BATTLE OCCURED. I HAVE NOT THE SPACE TO DESCRIBE IT. THIS IS CLOSEST DESCRIPTION OF IT BELOW.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waHIOciJmVc



.THE SMOKE CLEARED. BAGS HAD ONE. HE GENTLY LAID DOWN AND KISSED PANCAKES BLOODY FOREHEAD THEN PULLED OUT HIS POCKET. dANCAKE KNEW HE WAS BESTED.....DANCAKE GRABBED THE POCKET.

at this moment Bags used his superior power of thought to come up with a plan. He would rule this world in the future, and Pancake would be his prophet.....one would be darkness....the other a darkness disguised as light.


teleport....


bags smiled from behind the desk, he held a key...and a pen........and cracked a smile...Dan walked in......the battle had aged him, he spoke: "nice choice of mansion boss".

"thank you" Bags stated. "oh by the way, the time for our plan to conquer this planet and then all of existence is ready, the limo is out front, our targets suspect nothing"....and tossed Dan the key and the pen.


THE END...........?

!!!!!!!!!

Just perfect.

you look at your friend.....who looks like someone else but speaks as your friend and simply say:

"quit trolling bro, I am just dreaming".

"no troll, this is the future me who died and thus exists in this realm...."

"so that means....."

"exactly".

"oh no....."

"yes"

"no..."

"yes..but fear not, even though I have to leave, I think you will appreciate this stop, after all...your name is in the book".

"what is this place?" you ask your friend (a fair question)

"consider this the main outpost.....the final portal.....you are to be it's guardian now. You also have a lot of other cool auxillary functions."

"like?"

" ironing out rifts in the time-space continuum for one sir...and that brings us to the crux of this matter. Please understand that I have to go, what with the level up and all, but after I explore some, I will come back and check on you, are you interested?"

you say YES.

your friend slides the book to you...you touch it. it is alive.....then your friend pulls out a sword....it is on fire, yet not consumed. you touch it and it pulses in your grip (no homo).

"now then "Roy"" your old friend says....business time....I will be honest, I hate to leave at such a bad time, but it is needed, the continuum is under attack currently and there are roughly 5-6 rifts in it that could threaten all of existence on earth and in this plane, and you are gonna need to iron it out. "

your friend proceeds to tell you that there is a great evil which should not be, yet is, and it seems always was. he tells you of a man who exists yet doesn't yet might not and yet might. he tells you of a chubby ginger kid who is stuck amidst all the realities of possibility, he then tells you of an old man whose desire for revenge fuels the very evil that made itself in the beginning of the end which was the beginning. He also tells you of a ghastly man who is a wild card, and has the potentiality to destroy things merely by living long enough...... Lastly he tells you of a lonely man who became a walrus by finding a secret backroad and is now going to have to find a way to save his herd and somehow become a man again.

your mind would have been blown but now it can handle it.

Your friend then smiles and says "...oh yeah....one thing, it is standard procedure it turns out....take this, he throws you a pen." he continues "the darkness knows of this pen and has tried to counterfeit it but to no avail, also take this" he hands you a glowing key. "same deal".

"now....if you need to you can use the key to enter the world once, or allow another to do so...but they return right back to where they were with no memory of this. Also you can use this pen to write a person's name in the book, but only once, and all that has happened to them will be remembered no more and they will level up"........he pauses......"you can use it if you want, I have to tell you that".....you can use the key right now and go back to your bed and the breath will enter you again and your wife's tears will stop and this will just be a strange dream if you would like...you don't need the pen as you already in the book.....so?"

do you:

A: use the key and go back...forgetting all this and choosing "life"
B: stay in the library and attempt to save existence.

Lmao this is the best.thread.ever.

Not rly sure if ur answers make a diff tho, i think v just wanted dancake to hold them pockets

one day, this thread will be HOF'd

I have always existed, all though I do not yet exist, and you will be my father, although one could argue you would not exist without me.....I will give you the knowledge of how to synthesize the red plant....I will now show your future.

you see yourself writing down numerous chemistry equations, you see yourself very afraid......you see yourself standing in front of a light laughing as it rips into you....darkness....


Well professor.....It is time. The knowledge is in your mind....


time passed, you learned how to synthesize it into a powder. You realize that you would need to test it on few people, yet random people. You have successfully prepared the first batch. you look at it...it looks almost pink like....it is glowing.

suddenly there is a knock on the door: you walk to the front of the lab and open it. This should have struck you as strange as you are in the middle of a remote jungle but you were so absorbed in your work you think nothing of it. A tall man holding a canister of "gnc pre-workout" and an empty plastic baggie says: "give me the first batch" him being so tall you forget to look at his feet, and then notice them as he slides a brief case to you. you bend down and open it...it is full of 100's you estimate there are multiple millions!!!! your time has come!!!

do you:

A: accept the money and give the tall man the powder?
B: no way jose this is mine!

Give me the A

you lay down and sleep for the first time in a long time

......

you see a bald man in a library. He looks as big as a yeti. This is the grandest library ever. IF EVERY HIPSTER COULD SOMEHOW TUCK TEN BOOKS UNDER THEIR ARMS AND WALK THROUGH STARBUCKS, THE LIBRARY WOULD STILL BE UNEXTINGUISHED.

"I have been expecting you".....This will be difficult to understand now, but the answer to the question is that there is no easy answer for the choice, but a choice will be needed....I will say this, if you see the limo it is already too late......unless..."

the sun wakes you up. It was the fastest 10 hours of your life. You wake up in your daughters bed and are freaked out that she is not there! You run down stairs only to find that she is at the kitchen table drawing....

"it's a walrus daddy!...his name is Walt! he is really a man, but he is trapped and they are all going to die, but the nice book man told me that that was silly and that Everything was going to be ok for everyone....can we go play?"

do you:

A: say yes to play
B: say no to play

you use your flippers to waddle down to the shore...the tide still pulling in...

you begin your quest of building. it is arduous work.....it takes you the better part of a week to mold the right rocks and move them with your tusks, flippers, and mustache. you eventually have erected a crude diving boar/bridge and you waddle up.....the big moment...you jump@@@@


you hit the water far past the tide.....but....the tide extended farther than what you thought...it pulls you back in. you are dejected. you then realize that if you had input from all the other walri....they might be able to help....but the elder was very sketchy.

do you:

A: confront the elder
B: disobey the elder

truant again....this wasn't right, but after what happened what was? you were clearly losing your mind. As you walked back home you realized that the neighborhood was the same, but different.....you couldn't quite put your finger on it...but it was different. you were going to head home but you decided to make a detour through town. Town was town, but not town, you were certain of it. you recognized none of the shop names although the building layout looked very similar. what was worse was that everyone seemed to be staring at you like they knew you.

you walked past an old woman on the street and suddenly she looked at you and said coldly: "you don't belong here...."

chills...


you decided to turn into the nearest shop. it was an antiques shop, you felt amazed by all of the junk strewn about, yet still it felt right to be there. You walked and walked around and suddenly you saw a mirror....the mirror was old with gold inlays and "777" engraved into it. you had to have it. you looked into it and the strangest thing:

"an island....it is cold.....the mirror was pulling you in......there is death on this island....there is a man...this man is mad....this man is dangerous....there is a walrus!@>?????"

the vision faded as you snapped back into reality.....somehow that mirror transported you to another reality. was it real? you were crazy....oh yeah. "sign me up for the crazy pills" you thought. the mirror cost 9 dollars. you looked into your wallet and.....not enough, only 7 dollars.

do you

A: try and haggle the storekeep to accept 7 dollars
B: steal the mirror and dip

There is a reason this walrus is in charge/the elder/wise

Option A - i think its time to revamp the plan and recruit other walruses with his permission

the tall man smiles an ugly grin...you realize he is old....he is older than he is tall.
He then takes the pink glowing powder.

"my boss thanks you....you will have subjects soon. enjoy the money professor Oedipus".

He exits. you look at all the money and realize that it needs to be invested in greater equipment. You now have the resources and enough plant to create an army of super animals or even humans and rule the world! wouldn't your "visitors" be so proud! you would show all of those who doubted your genius! they would pay! TEHY WOULD ALL PAY!

......................ONE MONTH LATER.........


your last breath is taken as you see him wearing your intestines. This is not right. This is not how it should be......darkness.

The library is amazing. you wish you could read every book in it, yet on some unconscious level, you know that it would be impossible.

"welcome" you see a man sitting holding a sword...a flaming sword...you can feel it's heat all the way across the room yet the flame is not burning the man.

he speaks: "some want to consider you were the cause, your greed, your envy, your hate......but I can understand if you still want to look". he slides a book of names over to you....yours is NOT there.

The "Librarian" stands up...far taller than the tall man and states: "death is the result of your choices"......you yell out stop!!!!!!! he does.

Do you:

A: tell him if he lets you go back to the lab you will pay him all of your money to spare you

B: tell him that you are sorry...so very sorry.

you enter the elder's dwelling....he is flopped. near a crude chessboard made out of rocks and dying fish (@captain obvious to thread) . He awakens.

"all right!" you say "what is going on here! I can make it to the island! I have an idea, but I need the other walri's help....and you are hindering it! why!@?"


"walt".....The elder spoke softly....his eyes glassing over..... "I used to live on that island.....until that "creature" showed up. it stood upright, it moved so fast so strong...it did horrible things to my village, it did horrible, unspeakable things to my kinsman......terrible things....." the elder drifted off.....

"I WOULD RATHER DIE HERE THAN TO EVER GO BACK! IF HE IS THERE IT IS CERTAIN DOOM FOR ANY AND ALL...!"

you lower yourself to the ground like a corgi as if to brace for a powder-handed pimp slap, but it never comes.

"walt....I know something you don't....about yourself....I can't explain it yet, but I know that you will leave for the island, and I know that my own trauma and fear have nearly killed my people.....go...and make it to the island, and gather it's fish and rocks....and slay that foul thing if needs be".

you leave the dwelling and call an audience. you tell the walri herd that they can help you get to the other island....

"whyze we going dere eh?" said an adolescent walrus with a suspiciously sounding new York accent

do you:

A: tell them the truth
B: hide some of the truth

That 7 bucks is for McDonalds later obv

B

I am virtuous

A - tell him the truth

I'll stop reading what I've already read in this thread and choose what I normally would. I'm in on this shit.

A) I'll go play. The dream was weird but so was yesterday. It's probably just her imagination running wild anyways.

Calmly leave. No point in drawing more attention to myself or wasting the high.

B.

Hertz us would want me to grovel

B

Bags one!?

Fuckvthis earth.

you are buzzing...i mean buzzing.....it felt so good to give in to the madness, to the depravity....the best part? No sirens. No one seems to care, it is as if the shock is just too much and you relish in this fact. You have changed lives. You stop in a nearby alleyway and masterbate, cumming to the thought of the fear in their eyes.

The buzz is getting stronger, but changing....you realize that you are no longer drunk...at all. What was blurred, is now clear....No one could stop you. "Lets see....it is time to have some fun".

do you:

A: head to the airport
B: head to the Marina

Are you angry?

The mirror feels good tucked away in between your chubby arms and body. You run, you little chubster, you run !!!! your insane clown posse shirt flows in the wind like a Unicorn's mane. You happen find yourself in a strange part of town, you have never been here before. You look into the mirror and you see a playground, and a little girl playing....you can feel the mirror pulling you in.....all of a sudden you realize that you must have drifted into the street because a long black limosine comes careening around the corner and almost hits you. You jump back and breath...whoo....you look at the mirror and it appeears split down the middle on the left is that artic island again, you see a walrus....on the right is the little girl in the playground...

Do you:

A: get pulled into the artic island
B: get pulled into the playground with the girl playing

you meet with the walri herd and you tell them that the secret will be to work together to overcome the tide. One walrus holds onto a rock and another walrus holds on to him, and then another walrus holds on to him ad infinitum walrium. Your theory, you explain is that if all teh links hold we could build a living bridge, and once connected to the other island we could all begin again in reverse until we all made it to the new island.

your flipper draws in teh sand:



) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ( <---the other shoreline


then

) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(
>
>
> <----basically just piggy backing in reverse now that you had secured a new point of contact on the mysterious island.


The herd likes this idea. "genius" they think. Suddenly a little walri pipes up:

"hey..hey...walt....what about the monster?"

do you:

A: tell him that it may not be real, but if it is you will fight it and protect him!
B: tell him that it may not be real, but if it is, we all may die, but we will die here of starvation and sharp rocks anyway

"I wanna go to the park! I love the park!" she says

you decide to go to the park, you see the newspaper on teh counter, you grab it. Wonder how the cubs were doing. which reminds me of a joke, what did Jesus say to the cubs as he was ascending into Heaven? Don't do anything until I get back. THe ride to teh park is uneventful. You watch from the nearby bench as she plays delighted, you too are just happy that you slept last night....even though it was weird. Suddennly you see a limo pull up. Something feels strange.

Do you

A: continue reading the paper
B: call to your daughter to come here

As i am not sure if i can die as i have entered a portal to begin with....

A) I shall fight and protect

"please! please! not the sword!!!!"

"the love of money".....he says..."but asking for forgiveness helps"....


the sword.



..........



You find yourself sitting on a rock, you have flippers, you feel old.....you glance in the nearby water, you see that you are an old walrus. You look across the sea and see an island, you have a vision of your past...the carnage of your walrus family being decimated by that monster.....a tear falls down your blubbery cheek.....onto your grey mustache.

"Elder!" "Walt wants to talk to you!"


"send him over" you say.....

then you think: "this is the best of all possible worlds....and smile."


THE END?

Only at the pockets thing.

I kicked bags ass and he got revenge. So we even

My adventure sucked though.

The other ones are pretty good and all intertwine.

Thats funny bro, because imo yours in one of the best, and it does intertwine. But hey, I did my best sir.

so we cool?

It was entertaining. Good job

Nothing goes wrong when you follow little girls on a playground
B

Was hoping for more twists and turns :(


Taken out too soon!

I choose B, books and lightsabers.

Repped.

lmao @ the hipster library shit.

But ye something feels strange and that shit I was told about the limo in my dream yesterday.. Got to take extra care of my daughter just in case and hope I make the right choice.

B) I tell my daughter to come over.

This is on pace to be the most successful thread of all times.

Bags/Pancake story should qualify them as bros in RL now.

epic.