His dating profile headline says: "HECTOR. HITMAN. I WANT THE CULO. 702-231-4242..."

Lookn like a USB fighter

Lookin like he has an illegal fannypack smuggling business

Lookin like the code words to get into his house is "Guac, bro. Did you bring the guac?"

Lookin like he digs graves at the Digital Underground

Serial entrepreneur: founder and managing director at CuntRoller Systems Inc

Lookin like he incrementally buys timeshares at Neverland Ranch

The Fast Traction Hero

Lookin like the mayor of Pokelahoma

He moonlights as Moonlight in a cosplay drama called The Sun, the Moon, and the Shriveled Dick

Lookin like he pops waterbeds at furniture stores and fills them with orange GoGurt

Lookin like he only speaks if you recite the lyrics of Weezer songs backwards in a NY accent

This slaughtered me LMFAO.

This nigga lookin like he about to say YOU'LL NEVER FORGET THE NAME OF...... GOLD DUST

Lost his hat, it was immediately returned to Glosst and Found.

Flashy grapefruit salesman

This nigga eats expired Lunchables with the cast from Ned's Declassified

He runs a gay cowboy themed nightclub in Wyoming called PEGGING PAUL'S HUNK HAVEN

Glossed in Translation

Runs a firework stand that only sells sparklers

Wardrobe provided by: Queer Eye for the Gay Guy

He shaves his chest hairs with startled armidillos

AKA The Unibrowbomber

Competes in chili cook offs and always puts too much ghost peppers

This nigga tried to put a Decepticon tape into an mp3 player

he lets lesser fag put pop rocks in their butt and fart on his mustache

This nigga drive a purple Silverado with bicycle rims and a novelty horn

Rooster Cockburn