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sabotaged Ozzyfest with a fake bazooka and a giant mosquito net
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has been uncle'd so many times arm-wrestling his sister, he was nicknamed the quickest draw in the west
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Pays his own family to take pictures with him.
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Saw every shard of glass as a potential get out of life free card when.his bong shattered on the floor
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His bedsheets are pitch black with Dwight Howard's eyes plastered on his pillowcase
claims it "helps him sleep" |
he just smoked a J and relaxed .
Hi Haters :) |
bought his ex girlfriend bikini wax and proceeded to bleach, launder and then wax her bikinis
|
I can't bring myself to type anything, lmao too many of ya'll going hamburger on this dude.
vulg, very unorthodox technique, I like it. Is it new? |
Quote:
Whenever a boxer touches the canvas, he breaks a paintbrush |
A bully once told him he was going to make him cry "uncle", but he's been doing that everyday since he was 6
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Quote:
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this nigga has diverticulitis of the conscience
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Does not drive in a vehicle with anyone who doesn't refer to him as captain kirk
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He only read Lord of the Flies because he heard there were carcasses in it. And he likes islands.
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His breath smells of propane & slim jims
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Ignores every call the Red Cross makes to his phone just so they'll call again
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Wrote the bulls eye sign on his iris with a heroine needle, then later added GPS coordinates incase he ever got "lost" in the rap game.
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is terrible at kissing, knitting and talking to people
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This nigga's kitchen pantry looks like one of Chyeah's survival kits
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helped find quality locations for the movie The Kite Runner, but was upset when an Afghan mob trampled him for trying to hide his virginity in a sand dune.
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thought auto-erotic asphyxiation was the technical term for NASCAR suspension tuning
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The tooth fairy left him the number to domestic relations under his pillow
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All of his passwords for computer databases are "gargamel"
|
Has the scent of his aunts wet muff permanently ingrained on his upper lip
Tries to cover it up with the dirty sanchez you see now |
Needs to be tickled on the back of his neck with the hide of hairless cats to make a proper bowel movement
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Nigga thinks bottle rockets & squirrel pelts are acceptable forms of payment
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Quote:
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Is a lucid dreamer, as an architect all.of the buildings were made out of fubu hoodies, watermellon & regret
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this nigga clicks his heels twice every time someone uses an incorrect plural noun
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Once travelled to Pamplona on a pogostick
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Has been told to go to the vet on numeral occations in order to get health care.
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Eats his fruit loops with lead paint
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Pretends Tootsie Rolls are cigarettes & cuts bologna on a plate with a fork & knife after thanking Jesus for the bounty
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has a picture of his first multi in his wallet
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banned from the McDonald's ball pit for taking upskirt pictures of 6 year olds then yelling bazinga
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Attending community college with hopes of one day being a "transporter" for Domino's
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he speaks....
Quote:
I approve this message |
every year on his birthday, his decisions are entirely decided by blindfolded dice rolls and a yell of "snake eyes shake n fries"
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Met his true love in salt lake city utah but had to break it off when.he couldn't convert to mormonism for the fear of embarrassment when he couldn't afford a bicycle
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Fell asleep on his grandma's titties watching Wheel Of Fortune while she smoked menthols & combed his hair
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