Because occams razor.

Worst thread of 2013.

I just make the complex simple. And ask questions you cant answer.
Especially since all you do is hear everything I dont say and nothing I do. I have studied evolution trust me. Enough to knkw it is a lie. GOD MADE MAN.

Thanks for all the help Veritas, I will sleep better now.

Still awaiting reply

do me hard

Vert come with your reply now.

aero you compensate. alot.

I am sorry, but to what Greg?

This

That's all you got? Disappointed.

its true though. amiwrong?

I do compensate a lot but that's only bc I have two employees.

lol, i love this shit...

go ahead and hit me up V --- I try to self evaluate a shit load to improve as person, and somewhat ironically, this thread made me self evaluate my self evaluation process haha...

So the first thing that came to mind for me was that I probably over-rely on a somewhat subjective sense of 'altruism' as a key defense mechanism --- but again, I like what you do, so drill deep with the truth so it hurts just enough that I make the move to feel better :)

wow mind ass-sasfag is suchhhh a fagg0t

For this discussion to take place we have to establish exactly what I mean by ''fate'' and what the word means to me. I use that term loosely and not followed by a set standard or anything like that, I use it as a word to describe a persons story and the journey it takes the being on, and rather than life itself already having a set path which the word ''fate'' rests upon, I believe you are in charge of your own fate even tho' you get pushed out of balance every now and then. However, trying to figure out why something happened and spending countless of hours on finding answers to things impossible to figure out unless the people in question are present is something I mostly look upon as a waste of time. Hence the reason to why I don't think I'm in denial. I don't deny possible mental issues I may, or may not, have either and I'm always open to solutions and ways to better myself.

As far as it comes to what I believe my ''fate'' is, I think it's learning how to think less and being more down to earth while being put through different obstacles at all times like anyone else. I can not predict my reactions to certain hardships or how my mental health will be in the future, but I feel it rests a lot on how I choose to take charge of my own life and regain stability in both my sleep and thinking pattern right now and how I learn to grow from it. My ''fate'' also revolves a lot around accepting that things are like they are; accepting rather than wondering why I haven't met the girl I'd like to be with yet and why I'm not emotionally open enough to try something real with those I know from before, accepting instead of pondering why I can't sleep beside of the fact it seems I have excess energy at almost all times, my past, and so on.. Perhaps I am struggling with denial since it seems like I'm circulating the issues and analyzing them as much as possible before I get to the core of the problem at hand? I don't know, but I think my fate is that I have to learn to come to terms with myself and who I am in any situation since anxiety is a huge part of who I am today, but not how I act. I'm actually struggling a bit with that right now, I feel like I'm misplaced while doing the things I want rather than being in denial tbh. It's as if I push through the denial stage and learn to be myself again through that process. Sleep is hardly a part of it, but its present for sure. If it's of any interest my dreams are often self reflective and often an eye opener to me, I think that's a pretty strong indicator that I want to evolve out of this shit.

you intellecualize, you rationalize....shall I continue>?

you are a special case, because your spirituality is muddled....but seeking it's own expression, which puts you paradoxically head and shoulders above these demons, but at the same time right in line for the pharisee's hell. you come off as understanding the way things work, when we know that is just a reaction formation. You are trapped here with the rest of us brother.

this was a good post, a solid start, if you were sitting in my office, I would call to your mind how you firstly stated that you didn't think you were in denial, then later on said maybe you were. I would ask you to go on a quest to know that you know that know, instead of operating mentally from an un-solid foundation.

this was good though.

you saying you WANT TO evolve out of this, is a great first step!

word up, good analysis --- particularly the underlying message

i'm misunderstood on the intellectualizing part though bro... if anything i devalue it more than most because of what left brained thinking did to trap me for so long --- but others value it so much these days, that they assume i put value in it too... but clearly you're so right to bring it up, as it's a major effin part of my journey of unlearning smart to knowing wise.

absolutely trapped though! and hope i dont come off as if i think i am in any other place than the one we're all sharing -- cuz it's def. not a holier than thou type facade i'm tryna put up --- more like a "oooh shit, i had the click, maybe sharing something with someone can help them, which will help me, which will help us", you know what i mean?

i have started praying to be more humble though. added it in my nightly 'mantra'/prayer --> really each word being the next step in my journey, for each new phase.

"God, help me to be Courageous, Selfless, Loving, Patient, Peaceful and Humble. Help me to be a great husband, a great father, and a great human being -- and help me to always Remember".

and i know you know the importance of the last word there ;)


good looks friend --- i'll revisit and improve :D

Hello, thank you. Tell me how this applies to me. Focus on me right now. Frank case #007

Lately I've thought about what you said, but it's harder to live with knowing than not. However, since I am mentally aware about my own state I am actually kind of afraid of what I might face on that journey. It is hard to let things be when you are a thinker like me, specially being open about things and always looking for several answers alltho' an answer may already have been given. The hardest part is being satisfied with what's presented to me and it eats me up on occasion. Due to this I think I have learned a lot about myself (thank God that least something positive came outta it) and I am afraid that with the diagnosis I've been given (dysthymia), I think I'm on my way to develop manic depression and would like some hints on how to prevent that from happening before I end up in a position where that diagnosis can be given. Well, since it is classified as a genetic disorder and it is an extremely severe condition I guess doctors etc. would have picked it up already, or have they? Either way I identify myself closely with 90% of the symptons on this list and could have done that for the past 10 years: http://www.webmd.com/depression/guid...nic-depression. What do you think the next move for me should be? Also; I'm on sleeping meds now, been prescribed Vallergan and I try to stabilize my sleeping pattern.

More importantly; I'd like some tips on how I can take charge of my own life instead of feeling (completely different from being) dependant on those around me as I feel the connections I make is more important than breaking them in order to do what's needed to stabilize and keep a healthy mental state. Also; the friendzone is a bitch. I also want to add that I reached these answers because you told me about my defense mechanisms. Thanks a lot for helping me to put them to light so I can better myself and the life I am living.

lol I might have that shit too @Objective

If that's the case you should seek professional help asap. Knowing how to deal with the hardship is half the battle, the other half is surviving it.

nigga I'm a g stop. that hereditary shit is bullshit bc with different life experiences my psyche would be radically different. I can cure myself to be real.

don't think like that NYC. that is denial.

so you feel dependent, but aren't?......

Pretty sure @Vertias would agree on the fact that you can add Denial to the list of defense mechanism you have as well. My father was a G too, fucking albanian mofo. At a party once pakis decided against beating me up once one of them told me who my father is, I don't know why they wanted to beat me up tho'. Guess they were just being stereotypical pakistanians. Either way, the beef was settled after that. Truth be told; My father was a crazy motherfucker, but even he needed a shrink. Fuck, even Tony Soprano had a shrink. Da fuq you on about? Stop thinking you're any different just because you're you.

Edit: Fuck, Veritas beat me to it. Haha, but yeah. Wouldn't hurt. Give it 10 serious sessions with a great shrink, you wont regret it.

thanks for your input but I'm right to be honest, it's not denial lol...

lol it's just my opinion dawg. don't get flustered about it, I can relate to many of those symptoms but IMO they are rooted in parenting, enviornment and the decision making process more than hereditary

it is. you really think you don't need someone to talk to>?> you got the world in the palm of your hand>>?


Even us shrinks gotta have counseling before we counsel bro.

and also NYC...if you ARE depressed...you do not want to sit in it. pm bro. or call...6019173913 I will listen.

Exactly. I have a bunch of friends, family members that cares. But still I feel dependent on extremely few people as opposed to just letting things go and break connections when I know it's hurting me in the long run. You feel me?

I feel like I have to keep these connections because human relations are extremely important to me on any level, even if they're bad.. If that makes any sense. Even I realize how fucking stupid it is to continue such friendships but I still can't get myself to break them because I'm somewhat afraid of what'll happen after that. I think it's because I think I'm not in charge, when in fact I am.
I don't really look upon myself as someone that's insecure since I often am the center of attention at parties and I don't give a shit if people I don't know talk shit behind my back. I was closed up in elementary and satisfied with the friends I had, but now it's switched and I feel like it's a race to have as many friends and groups of friends as possible and attending parties every weekend and being the ''cool guy''. I think I've turned into the male version of a fucking teenage attentionwhore in my mid twenties while not reaching the level where it's easilly identifiable and/or annoying to those around me.

It's also extremely important for me to have different impulses from different people; I know skaters and I've been skateboarding for quite some time so I know at least 20 skaters in my local area where I skate with 5 of them on occasion. I hang out with anti-weed people and mormons only to go to parties where people don't do shit but smoke a few days later. Ya feel me? If just 1 connection should break it's as if my world would crumble and I'm afraid that it's the start of something where I'll lose the rest as well. So I'm keeping unhealthy friendships based on that, read: the friendzone I'm dealing with atm being the main issue right now. I can't get myself to break it because I know me and her are extremely alike and we have fun when we're hanging out together. We know eachother and understand eachother on a level I can't with others, yet I can't seem to get rid of the feelings I have for this particular woman even though there's other options available at this very moment. It's frustrating.

This on top of dysthymia is extremely challenging to me as I'm having a shitload of fun when I'm outside, only to come home and be miserable for no fucking reason. I often find myself to deal with sudden depressing feelings when I'm hanging out with people or watching movies by myself as well, I'm a master at concealing it so it has never occurred to my friends, even the close ones, that I'm dealing with shit like this. (the reason I realized that manic depression might be a realistic diagnosis to me and why I googled it to read more about it). Either way I am in no position to self diagnose myself, I aint Freud either.

I'm not seeing a therapist at the moment allthough I absolutely should, I'm sick of seeing shrinks to be honest since I've been to a few already. Starting a new relation with one seems to be a shitbunch of work as I more often than not end up not being there due to my random sleep cycle, so I don't think I'll make any appointments until I get my sleeping pattern on track which I hope to do with the prescription given. What you'd say here is to go see one either way and get it started, but it's hard to keep it up due to the situation I find myself in at the moment.

So, do you think my plan is good to go and something I should aim towards? Basicly; What would be your advice to do from here on out?

I need time to unravel the knot you just tied...but I see some openings.....give me time to think on this sir.

Sure, take your time.

Also; if someone should read this, but doesn't feel like talking openly or to someone on a forum, and can relate to some of the stuff I wouldn't hesitate to speak to someone, or at least check out which options that's out there. It has improved my life at times where simply existing has seemed to be an impossible task. It is extremely underrated even if what you're dealing with is on a minimal level.

I'm a Libra. Why do you want to know this btw?

I'm trying to help you understand your self.

Today is 11/18/13. what is your birthday?

Your lulzy attempts at trolling doesn't work on me bro. Better luck next time.

That said; I will most likely disregard anything you say towards me in this thread. You have also successfully made me think you are dumber than what you've made out to be earlier on this board. Peace.

October 7th, 1988

Ok