he bathes in a cauldron and doesn't know witch shampoo to buy so he refuses to shower

Is writing a book about enrique iglasias fighting dragons with battle rap verses

he's a landlord's worst nightmare

Samuel the Insomniac

He was there when the "you kicked my dog" scene occurred. At the time, he was trying to turn a mailbox into a gloryhole, unsuccessfully.

is studying for the standardized PEDOPHILE test and wants to score high enough for regionals

i see you vulg

writes anime fan fiction.

last coup he staged was Bye Bye Birdie

burnt the bridge to Terabithia but has wished for a sequel on every falling star since '07

is what you get if you lock an Asian rat, Joey from N'Sync and Jose Cuervo in a room together for 700 years

gets visibly irritated when his chingy cd skips in his dodge neon

Nacho Pipsqueak

He provides discount rates for racoon smuggling around the world. His call sign for telecommunications is 'Ziggy'

He thought the north pole was a measuring stick. Either way, he is attracted to sticks.

smells like ciggarettes and malt liqour.

mom begs him to go to church as hes walking out the house

can recite the fairly odd parents theme song word for word.

once stalked Carson Daly at a flea market. His explanation was that 'MTV really inspired him to lead a better life'

lmaaooo

says "Sorry" after robbing the gas station for honey buns and 99 cent arizona tea.

smokes mexican brick weed

calls it kush

Chico parakeet + Haley Joel Osment + undeniable femininity =

His drivers license is a black card with the word SLYTHERIN on it