If John Travolta and a bloodhound gave birth to a Texican

his favorite subjects to read about are sickle cell anemia and the River of Jordan

he starred in the movie Twister as airborne mulch

The 5'o'clock shadow government of Myanmar used his smile to make non-governmental organizations feel guilty.

These are ugly people.

he's the definition of nincompoop in the dictionary

this dude has a patent for Insane Clown Posse magnets

looking like he's responsible for revolutionizing the construction of birdhouses with toothpicks

boy has 3 ugly sides to his personality and three locusts with breasts in the car with him. The ugly truth is that he will never smash

Dominique Straus-Kahn is about to steer that vehicle into the Tree of Virginity

There are a lot of reasons why he is known as Pronto Iglesias

Looking like the cast of an Alcoholics Anonymous rendition of Pippin.

dude looks like N.Tavarez as a worker ant

he worked as a mariachi bandolier before they handed him a broomstick and nudged him into the Hogwarts kitchens

I'm all about being around multiple females but this dude hooked up with Barbara Streisand's cricket infestation

Looking like two and a half men.

Goobers peanut butter hired him for his vocal enunciations concerning the fact that he couldn't bust a grape, let alone be able to successfully flirt with Swedish moccasin makers

boy hooked up with a Chelsea Clinton zombie

Looking like Captain Planet let his team have a day off.

When asked 'what you rollin in' he replied 'I frequently cruise to unanimous decisions in badminton tournaments'

son got a little to live for but a lot to improve on

lookin like a veloci raptor turned into Woody Allen

This nigga drinks dick smoothies

lookin like he reads Martha Stewart books

Nigga got an autographed copy of Captain Underpants he reads to himself before turning off his Spongebob night light

If Joey from N'Sync linked up with a baby elephant seal

His mom was a magic carpet & his dad was a nose