Netcees - this is the first official -TRASH YOURSELF WITH A PRIVATE FACT THAT NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT YOU THREAD.

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as for the whole penis thing @Witty and @uh-oh

man, worst dick story i have is this..
i was shaving and trimming up my facial hair. decided i wanted to make the rest of my body nice and smooth for the ladies/or the one i was with at the time anyway. i decided to remove the guard from my beard and mustache trimmer, (i kept one for facial and one for body hair guys) so that i could get a nice low cut on my everything from neck down.

the shape up job was going well until i came to the below the belt area. without getting to much into details here on a prominantly male board.. the no guard clippers pinched me somehwere rather sharply and cause a lot of bleeding.

the bleeding wouldnt stop. i had to litterally go to the hospital because i thought i sliced a bad vein or something. told the nurse that i cut my dick off with my clippers -should have seen the look on her face. they immediately took me in the back. by the time the doctor showed up -the bleeding had stopped though from applying pressure with whatever the nurse had given me a towel or something. it was pretty much just embarrassing all the way around.

Quote:

Originally Posted by uh-oh (Post 470215)

yea witty that happened to me too, not on my dick but my PUBIS region. thought i had herpes. it was unpoppable tho, like the size of a pencil eraser, like a BOIL.

turns out it was an ingrown hair tho, ended up LANCING IT and it was all blood tho. i was expecting nastiness like puss and shit. but nah.

and i posted on PR about it i'm sure.

I'M OPEN WITH MY LIFE.

thats why i despise aliases and weirdo shit. just be yourselves

Lmao, I remember mine vividly, I was about 14, I was in my room with this girl I was seeing, the growth had been going for a couple of weeks, I tried ignoring it and it only entered my mind when I was pissing. It scared me, I was a young and foolish child, I genuinely thought it was aids dick @Bagsworth Bentley @Batty @anime_boners (where did he go? :( ) so anyway me and this girl were kissing or something and my dick got hard and then I felt liquid running down it, so I ran to the bathroom and it had burst and I just stood above the toilet, looking at my penis seeping with puss, and it looked like it was crying, it looked sad...and I nearly cried too.

@Genocide I read 'I was shaving' and stopped...I will read further if you can guarantee your story does not involve a mutilated penis.

I just can't.

I immediately regret questionimg the credibility of the posts itt

Please go back to robbing people fuckin bitches an beatin people up

Smh. Repulsive bros.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bagsworth Bentley (Post 470226)

I immediately regret questionimg the credibility of the posts itt

Please go back to robbing people fuckin bitches an beatin people up

Smh. Repulsive bros.

bitch plz.

acting like your dick been perfect ur whole life.

I'M FUCKING ON TO YOU.

No bro. I have dark dick tales.

But tell them.about the butt stuff witty.....tell them

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bagsworth Bentley (Post 470228)

No bro. I have dark dick tales.

But tell them.about the butt stuff witty.....tell them

But...I don't want to.

I'm scared.

:(

if you havent caught loose nutsack skin in a pair of hair/beard clippers i don't trust you as a man

Quote:

Originally Posted by uh-oh (Post 470232)

if you havent caught loose nutsack skin in a pair of hair/beard clippers i don't trust you as a man

Lol fact

But yo i been 100 in this thread
Whoever lying shame on u

Lmaooo. This conversation should not be had.

I'm pretty sure every niggas clipped their dick and/or balls unless you're a redneck faggot who doesn't manscape.

I used to steal Sir Arthur Conan Doyle short stories and use them for my 8th grade language arts class.

lol @ vulgar biting his whole life

When the discussion reaches the DOGS AND PEANUT BUTTER territory, somebody mention me and I will be back.

I gave my dog steroids for itchiness, using peanut butter on a spoon
@Batty

I forever keep it a pound with you all, I shit myself at last years office Christmas party... I'd had bubbleguts ALL FUCKING DAY but been toilet so many times I thought it was finished by the night time. We had all gone to this fancy place/hotel where the theme was Mouiin Rouge so everyone dressed like a slut or a boss, right?

after the main meal, I went to go outside for a cigarette, realised I had none so I started walking to find a store... Walked maybe ten minutes from the place, decided to give up and turn round (it was December, cold, all the work peeps were back there) when I started feeling another toilet trip coming on...

Felt like the world wanted to squeeze it's way out my ass...

I started walking back quickly, trying to make it to he venue and toilets inside...

A little bit came out, not much, I figured I'd just throw my boxers off in a bin in the bathroom once back... CARRY ON AND ENJOY MY NIGHT...

Then a little more squeaked out, my stomachs going crazy at this point, wanting to release EVERYTHING at once, but I'm resisting... MY STOMACHS GROWLING LIKE FUCK at this point

Then suddenly BOOM! the red seas were done parting, out it came like a gushing biblical downpour or runny soft shit... I didn't know what to do, I had to get back to the venue as I didn't know any of these street names etc... My phone is going crazy at this point, everyone's ringing me from the party to find out we're I was! FUCK!

Eventually I get to the venue and call Mrs Lars (who's at home) tell her to call me a cab and explain what's happened to her... The cab eventually arrives, I sit in the back --- silent ---- like a peado file who has just been arrested... I didn't speak for the entire journey home! I'm sat in back with this waft of stale odourous shit and nowhere to look but at the back of the seat infront of me wondering what i'm gonna do/say if he brings up the fact his car stinks to high heavens of my faeces looooooool

The smell of my own shit filled the cab. The guy must have known. he just has to have known. it was blatabntly obvious. lol I was in a suit stinking of ass and diarrhoea. Disgusting. He drops me home after like a 30 min journey and I'm like... "Cheers mate!" Exiting politely, as you do

I get in my own front door, relieved as FUCK, thinking ive made it and escaped the worst situation of my entire life... and my mother in law and wife's best friend have come over to say hello to Mrs Lars... Worst night in a while I swear to you hahaha!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sraL (Post 470175)

damn okay, on the estate where I grew up (not naming where) theres a heavy gang presence. you get taken in by the elders when you're like... 10 maybe? and you become part of the MF Juniors. The older guys look out for you, give you money to run errands, pick up a package at place A and take it place B, if you have any shit the elders sort it out. Everyone knows everyone from the block. The MF crew are slightly older than the juniors, say 15-20, they do the most dirt. Petty theft of quad bikes, cars, weed grows, break ins - most shit you can think up. The majority of them either have minor charges or zero. Anyway above them is the MF Seniors, made up of twenty year olds to mid twenties etc. these guys are the OGs if you like, they call the shots, everyone beneath them reports to these guys, you don't act unless they say so. That's the environment I use to fuck with, ended up in a turf war or sorts between us and rivals across the city. I got mixed up in a crazy confrontation one day, maybe ten or more of us either side? this one dude in particular got the better of me, had me pinned down, put a knife into my mouth sideways then punched down onto it. I've facial scars across my mouth, upper and lower, that's why I grow my beard out to cover them. You can see them if you find any pics/vids where I'm clean shaven. I took 126 stitches, inside and out, to fix my face. I had a huge blood clot in my mouth that I thought was part of my tongue as it was happening, kept shit in my mouth the whole time. Eventually one of my boys saw what was happening, hit the guy to get him off me, then once I was up I stamped down on his windpipe and he needed reconstructive surgery as a result. Crazy shit. My boy who saved me is my best man at my wedding in 2 1/2 weeks. Friend for fucking life, that's my blood, I'd literally kill for him. Don't ever think I'm soft, I got heart like a motherfucker. I'm not proud of it, I was a teenager then, I've moved out to the sticks here now a world away from where I grew up but it's just the other side of town, the difference between the two areas is insane. that's on my wife

old pic, but you can see the fold/scar to the left side of this pic/right side of my face

the same scar runs to past the bottom of my lip on the left side my face (in the pic) - its fainter, but you can make out the slight pink colour difference

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.n..._4396171_n.jpg

no idea what i was doing here lol the cut to my bottom lip is clearer in this one though

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphoto..._5748822_n.jpg

fuck it, i'll go in...

when i was deep into addiction, my one boy worked as manager at a charity shop. we'd be doing lines at his place of work all day in the office, my boy @MMLP will vouch

we set up a fake raffle the one day, i was on the till charging ppl £1 a strip... we collected up like £40-50 over the course of a day and spent the whole lot on drugs that evening

he announced the winner at his work the next day, said some old bitch volunteer had won and gave her a giant teddy bear someone had donated to them

thats got to be one of my lowest points ever

emb chills just writing it

not me, but another friend of mine, when we were like 13-14 used to mess around with this dirty chick

just feeling her boobs and fingering her, light kiddie shit...

anyway they used to go down this place that was like an old sewage works with tunnels

he told me they were down there this one day and he was fingering fuck outta here with the quickness, his hand slipped out and dipped into the sewage beneath them

he continued to finger this broad regardless like fuck it, thought nothing of it

YEARS AND YEARS later im talking now, we hear this bitch has developed cysts on her ovaries and all sorts of shit lol

she goes to the docs because of the pain and has no idea whats up... ends up needing a hysterectomy or some shit where they remove all her reproductive organs and tell her she will never be able to have kids

to this DAY I still clown him saying he's the reason she can never reproduce loooooool

theres only about 3-4 of us who know that tale

straight nasty shit yo ahahahahahaha