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-   -   AOWL SEASON 3 MAGAZINE — EDITION 16 (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=77243)

oats 06-15-2014 08:45 AM

Fed is the only right answer to that. I don't care if his only French title was a result of nadal being knocked out early, there just isn't another acceptable answer (don't you dare say Borg or Sampras)

oats 06-15-2014 08:50 AM

I'm glad I'm not the only one who ranks nfl pretty low on my list as well, though I'm surprised to see NASCAR make an appearance - I genuinely don't understand the appeal at all.
@big baby sexy pants etc, I consider a sport anything that will make you puke if you stuffed your face with nachos midway through the competition. So chess, poker, bowling, and other such games that receive espn airtime for some reason, are not sports.

big baby 06-15-2014 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oats (Post 350149)
I'm glad I'm not the only one who ranks nfl pretty low on my list as well, though I'm surprised to see NASCAR make an appearance - I genuinely don't understand the appeal at all.
@big baby sexy pants etc, I consider a sport anything that will make you puke if you stuffed your face with nachos midway through the competition. So chess, poker, bowling, and other such games that receive espn airtime for some reason, are not sports.

you can puke midway through a chess competition

oats 06-15-2014 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big baby (Post 350156)
you can puke midway through a chess competition

Id puke playing you because it's disgusting how easy it would be. Still not a sport though.

big baby 06-15-2014 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oats (Post 350168)
Id puke playing you because it's disgusting how easy it would be. Still not a sport though.

I'd beat Zygote when I'm trying to lose.

oats 06-15-2014 10:15 AM

Any match against me means you are trying to lose. I'll make zygote feel like a gamete, and big baby feel like a little sperm in my nutsack.

big baby 06-15-2014 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oats (Post 350170)
Any match against me means you are trying to lose. I'll make zygote feel like a gamete, and big baby feel like a little sperm in my nutsack.

I dont really flaunt my chess genius, but I'll eradicate your existence if you want? Set it up.

Witty 06-15-2014 10:51 AM

I don't even know how to play chess.

Never tried.

Zen 06-15-2014 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oats (Post 350148)
Fed is the only right answer to that. I don't care if his only French title was a result of nadal being knocked out early, there just isn't another acceptable answer (don't you dare say Borg or Sampras)

Actually the right answer was Rafael Nadal. He's got a winning record against Federer and Djokovic (however you spell it) and 14 grand slams so he's right behind Federers record. Nadal is the man.

Btw you guys got chess.com? I'll play ya on there.

Zen 06-15-2014 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Witty (Post 350189)
I don't even know how to play chess.

Never tried.

This is a shame Witty. It's the game of kings so you've got to play it. It's your namesake.

Witty 06-15-2014 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zenland (Post 350215)
This is a shame Witty. It's the game of kings so you've got to play it. It's your namesake.

It just seems really boring, it isn't a sport if there's nothing to kick, hit, or run with.

For example....Rugby is a sport....darts is not....soccer is a sport....golf is not.....boxing is a sport....chess is not.

I realise this isn't the actual definition of sports, but it is MY definition and therefore more important that the actual definition.

Witty 06-15-2014 11:32 AM

btw if I am not good at something it automatically doesn't count as a real sport.

Those are the rules.

Zen 06-15-2014 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Witty (Post 350220)
It just seems really boring, it isn't a sport if there's nothing to kick, hit, or run with.

For example....Rugby is a sport....darts is not....soccer is a sport....golf is not.....boxing is a sport....chess is not.

I realise this isn't the actual definition of sports, but it is MY definition and therefore more important that the actual definition.

It seems really boring, but there's a moment when you're playing and you realize that you can checkmate your opponent in two moves. In that moment, you feel like a badass. You just outsmarted this guy and made him your bitch. What's not to love about that? Nothing, except being checkmated. Then you da bitch.

But honestly I've never thought of chess as a sport and I hate golf so I agree.

zygote 06-15-2014 11:43 AM

Zenland, whats your chess.com username. Mine is called alvaromal.

Top 10 sports:
1. Basket throw
2. Flight wheel
3. No hand touch ball
4. Helmet touch
5. Diamond bags
6. Felted holes
7. Fish catching
8. Pole jump
9. Sand sphere
10. Spear throw

Zen 06-15-2014 11:45 AM

I forgot it awhile back but I'm logged in on an app so ill send you an invite.

Bladed Thesis 06-15-2014 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zenland (Post 350234)
It seems really boring, but there's a moment when you're playing and you realize that you can checkmate your opponent in two moves. In that moment, you feel like a badass. You just outsmarted this guy and made him your bitch. What's not to love about that? Nothing, except being checkmated. Then you da bitch.

But honestly I've never thought of chess as a sport and I hate golf so I agree.

If you're two moves away from checkmate when you realize you're two moves from checkmate, you're playing wrong.

Chess is about the long-game and when discovering who's the better chess player, it comes down to who can prepare ahead of their opponent and NOT play what's on the board but instead play your opponent who is playing what's on the board. Or, play your opponent against what he thinks you're planning ahead. Playing chess by what's currently on the board is a quick and easy way to getting overwhelmed and out-played.

Witty 06-15-2014 01:03 PM

Sounds like too much effort...I'll stick to getting high and playing my xbox.

Zen 06-15-2014 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bladed Thesis (Post 350314)
If you're two moves away from checkmate when you realize you're two moves from checkmate, you're playing wrong.

Chess is about the long-game and when discovering who's the better chess player, it comes down to who can prepare ahead of their opponent and NOT play what's on the board but instead play your opponent who is playing what's on the board. Or, play your opponent against what he thinks you're planning ahead. Playing chess by what's currently on the board is a quick and easy way to getting overwhelmed and out-played.

Dude, I was using that as an example to entice Witty. Please don't tell me how to play chess.

Bladed Thesis 06-15-2014 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zenland (Post 350321)
Dude, I was using that as an example to entice Witty. Please don't tell me how to play chess.

Hahaha, gives bad example, defends himself.

gg hold the re.

http://i.imgur.com/Olr2E.gif

Witty 06-15-2014 01:15 PM

Bladed Thesis seems quite arrogant.

Bladed Thesis 06-15-2014 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Witty (Post 350325)
Bladed Thesis seems quite arrogant.

Agreed.

Witty 06-15-2014 01:22 PM

<3

I just found a piece I wrote about chess, I was only 16 lol

8 years ago....fuck.

Black’s Move

I apply mental floss on the doctors orders
Meditate to get away from the darkest corners
I blocked these borders, a smile breaks onto my tired gaze
While I smoke, I hope happiness aint an acquired taste
Cuz it stands dire and fake, I wanna break my ceramic attired face
Smash this saran-wrapped porcelain shell
Before I’m scorching in hell, I’m forced to rebel
As I take a white, but lose a soldier as well
Sing a venomous lullaby to my lil girl - aged one
And collapse in a slump
-beside my prisoners-

White’s Move

Screaming from her crib, my baby awakens
As I gaze merrily vacant - complacent
Patient with life, take it one-pace-at-a-time
Newly bloomed buds are greatly sublime
I smile….and just lay back and kick it
Play badminton, black jack and cricket
Friday - Saturday - Sunday - days of the lord
Where the face of the board, is outcast
Like the ways of the sword
The pawns move forward
Kings and Queens step aside
And on one of these days, even the bishops survive
------there goes another black------
Sliced from the knife of the knight
The whites are ahead, blacks are behind
But continue to fight, their loss at the back of their mind
The piece might be dead, but it’s tracks are unsigned

Black’s Move

I study my target, feeling so bloody lethargic
Back at work, and trying my hardest to start it
Monday has released it’s venom, sunk it’s teeth
squeezed out every inch of belief
And replaced it with grief
---------------There goes a white------------
Knocked off the square, onto the pile of the fallen
I’m down-trodden, as I light up this pollen
Crowds flow, like locusts to the most impressive bargain
Youths talk nonsense, in their senseless jargon
Blacks Pieces crowd my mind, return of the king
Here to take his throne, murder the spring
A diagonal move, there’s a pawn at his feet
Fumes invade my lungs, in a world of elites
Us common folk, are like murdering cheats
How did I get here? In this circumstance?
In the eyes of the system, we’re like worker ants
--------but the White Queen is still to move----------

White’s Move

Drifting silently, hopping over bishops and knights
The queen moves with ambition and might
1-2-3-4-5, yes five black pieces, added to the pile
Ticked off in my brain, registered with my smile
Pawns, rooks, and bishops alike - stand tall in their plight
The fallen of white, has begun stalling tonight
Blacks are outnumbered, soldiers wounded or dead
As my wife, climbs quietly into my bed
I look to the ceiling with a warm place in my heart
For tomorrow there is a new game, just waiting to start

Checkmate

Zen 06-15-2014 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bladed Thesis (Post 350323)
Hahaha, gives bad example, defends himself.

gg hold the re.

http://i.imgur.com/Olr2E.gif

Dude, I don't care how fucking good you are at chess you don't KNOW you'll checkmate someone in more than two moves. You might because you're a god damn psychic chess maestro, but the rest of us will notice that checkmate COULD be gotten in five moves tops because the rest of us realize that we're playing other people who aren't fucking idiots and will likely see what we're doing. Now excuse me, I'm trying to spend time with my family without some cocksucker online trying to argue with me about chess. FUCKING CHESS. Let it go brah.

Certain 06-15-2014 02:09 PM

Bladed Thesis is right, though. You should be setting up traps all game and feeling out how an opponent will react to those traps so that you can feel the success of a checkmate coming as soon as you start your final trap. Of course Zenland is right, too, that a good opponent may sniff out the checkmate and avoid it by making a move against his or her own nature.

Bladed Thesis 06-15-2014 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zenland (Post 350341)
Now excuse me, I'm trying to spend time with my family without some cocksucker online trying to argue with me about chess. FUCKING CHESS. Let it go brah.

Nobody was arguing about chess until you blew a gasket, friend.

Let it go...

Zen 06-15-2014 02:33 PM

You're right. I'm ashamed of myself.

Witty 06-15-2014 03:47 PM

Watching France vs Honduras...god damn Pogba is good.

The Honduras team look like they came not to play football but to injure as many of the opposition as possible lmao

Certain 06-15-2014 04:23 PM

I was thinking the same about Patrice Evra.

Witty 06-15-2014 04:32 PM

3-0 lol

yeah Evra is playing well, had an awful season with Man Utd but he is looking back on form today.

And as I am typing this I look up to see him injured :/

Witty 06-15-2014 04:34 PM

it's ok tho he's back now lol

Bladed Thesis 06-15-2014 04:48 PM

Pogba is a prodigy and only going to get better at Juventus.

Certain 06-15-2014 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Witty (Post 350374)
yeah Evra is playing well, had an awful season with Man Utd but he is looking back on form today.

He looks really sharp in midfield. Maybe he should move up?

Witty 06-15-2014 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Certain (Post 350407)
He looks really sharp in midfield. Maybe he should move up?

I've always rated him more as an attacking player than a defensive player, kinda like Glen Johnson for England, tho he is better at defending than Johnson....the only problem being he is getting older and I dunno if he would have the legs to play that position for a full season, but he's looking good right now. i thought he was leaving Utd but apparently he will be staying so it will be interesting to see what Louis Van Gaal does with him.

Witty 06-15-2014 05:15 PM

Next we get to see possibly the most talented player of all time...I hope he rips them apart tbh

Certain 06-15-2014 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Witty (Post 350413)
Next we get to see possibly the most talented player of all time...I hope he rips them apart tbh

That's high praise for Zvjezdan Misimovic.

This game is going to end up like 6-3 Argentina.

Bladed Thesis 06-15-2014 05:28 PM

He's talking about Dzeko.

Witty 06-15-2014 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Certain (Post 350420)
That's high praise for Zvjezdan Misimovic.

This game is going to end up like 6-3 Argentina.

LMAO

Yeah it could be a very high scoring game due to Argentina's defense and Dzeko playing for Bosnia who is a very good striker.

Should be the most entertaining game so far.

Witty 06-15-2014 05:53 PM

Argentina are playing 5-3-2??

That's strange, normally they play 4-3-3 so as to enhance the threat of Messi even more.

Didn't expect them to have such a defensive formation.

Witty 06-15-2014 06:48 PM

Looks like I may have to eat my words about Messi, he (along with most of his teammates) doesn't even look like he's aware there's a game of football happening, Argentina have not been good....Bosnia are no joke tho, they have surprised me.

patrown 06-17-2014 04:02 AM

thanks for the mag bro. great job holding it down this season . much respect.
lmk if you need me.


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