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-   -   Insanity (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=121036)

oats 09-20-2015 07:24 AM

@Bags only time sticking shit in your bunghole is gay is when it's a male body part. rodents borderline tho.

what you do is, you blend a thick, viscous protein shake. like 80% powder, 20% whole milk. lay flat on your back. place a bucket on a shelf above you. now this is no ordinary bucket. it's a buttbucket, so there's a hose attached to it at the bottom, and on the hose is a clamp to let it flow or stop it. the trick is, you let it FLOW. right on in there. think happy thoughts, and make the smoothie warmer than room temp by a bit. count to 100. sing my heart will go on front to back, and during musical bridges, exhale slowly and heavily while flexing your abs. if you're advanced, throw in a kegel or two along the way. flex like you're holding in a fart. once it's all been vacuumed into your anoose, wait. you'll want to shit, but don't. it needs to absorb. just breathe slowly and think happy thoughts, read The Economist while you wait. after 30 minutes you can shit, since all the protein has been absorbed and everything else was not wanted by your body/butthole.

do this after every rigorous workout, or just for a good time on a tuesday night in.

Tonio aka Lil Crip 09-20-2015 07:31 AM

Tonio got dat protein shake nigga

TYSON 09-20-2015 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tonio aka Lil Crip (Post 533553)
Tonio got dat protein shake nigga

Lmfao had me dying

Ghost1 09-20-2015 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quaker oats (Post 533552)
@Bags only time sticking shit in your bunghole is gay is when it's a male body part. rodents borderline tho.

what you do is, you blend a thick, viscous protein shake. like 80% powder, 20% whole milk. lay flat on your back. place a bucket on a shelf above you. now this is no ordinary bucket. it's a buttbucket, so there's a hose attached to it at the bottom, and on the hose is a clamp to let it flow or stop it. the trick is, you let it FLOW. right on in there. think happy thoughts, and make the smoothie warmer than room temp by a bit. count to 100. sing my heart will go on front to back, and during musical bridges, exhale slowly and heavily while flexing your abs. if you're advanced, throw in a kegel or two along the way. flex like you're holding in a fart. once it's all been vacuumed into your anoose, wait. you'll want to shit, but don't. it needs to absorb. just breathe slowly and think happy thoughts, read The Economist while you wait. after 30 minutes you can shit, since all the protein has been absorbed and everything else was not wanted by your body/butthole.

do this after every rigorous workout, or just for a good time on a tuesday night in.

LMFAO

So uve done this before oats? Don't lie to the bag daddy....

oats 09-20-2015 09:30 AM

https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.n...d0bfeec86fc03c

@Bags

Ghost1 09-20-2015 09:33 AM

Dead dead dead dead.

The benefits can't be that substantial to put urself thru this torture?

Lol jesus at that set up. Like sum shit ud see in one of them hostile movies.

oats 09-20-2015 09:35 AM

I've been places most will never see, let alone understand.

Ghost1 09-20-2015 09:38 AM

Lmao that ain't no protein shake tho

It's sum detox shit

U Givin urself colon cleanses like it's 05 an shit lmao

That shit make u feel mad healthy tho?

oats 09-20-2015 09:43 AM

lol yeah I did a colon cleanse in 2010, documented the whole thing. vids of enemas tbc. but I felt amazing after the cleanse, to answer your question. didn't eat for a week, barely ate the week after, just bentonite clay and psyllium husk (fiber) throughout the day and a shit ton of water. I felt like a god after.

Ghost1 09-20-2015 10:11 AM

Sheesh. Sounds extreme. Lol.

ill nik-A 09-20-2015 10:41 AM

I recommend a straight jacket

PancakeBrah 09-20-2015 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ill nik-A (Post 533583)
I recommend a straight jacket

Tell your boys Tannehill and Miller to quit being punk ass bitches and get me my damn fantasy points, thanks

ill nik-A 09-20-2015 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dancake (Post 533585)
Tell your boys Tannehill and Miller to quit being punk ass bitches and get me my damn fantasy points, thanks

Oh they will

Tell Bennett to do better during the game not when the game is out of reach, though I'm thankful for the garbage points

Oh wait, never mind I'm starting Witten

Thanks for nothing

PancakeBrah 09-20-2015 10:50 AM

:(


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