thread ruined

celebrally

I already made this quarters top thread with the I’m top 5 if it weren’t for.. threads

Maybe something new?

I wanna know which mod added that trifecta accomp tho lol

Let’s break this seemingly unbeatable in Zelph and Ryno’s opinion verse down right quick:



uses a tourniquet*an a swab, yo white as fuck from the smack!
such a slave to the poppy your picking cotton to remind you your black

The poppy/heroin thing is nothing new. Picking cotton racism bullshit is really the low hanging fruit of text to me and been done countless times. I’m not completely against it 100%, I can find the fun in the line if it’s something creative and fresh. The line isn’t done humourously or even worded so it had any sting, it’s just kind of... there. It goes nowhere. And last but not least I’M NOT FUCKING BLACK, I’M WHITE AS SNOW. It doesn’t apply to me. Okay, maybe he’s implying all drug addicts are black which is a wild assumption to me considering we have 2Crip, Finnt and Strika here. But alas, the line generally isn’t good and has no redeeming qualities to me. It’s a statement line that ultimately has no payoff to it, funny or otherwise, and falls completely flat. As an opening bar it fails even more so IMO, sets him off to a bad start before he’s even begun. It’s worded weakly, uncreative, and doesn’t know what type of line it wants to be IMHO.


hangs out on street corners, gettin yo fix by sucking off men
jealous of a hooker cus she can wash her crack an use it again

I mean, really? At least this one attempted some sort of humour but you can’t tell me for a second even with Drug Addicts as an opponent that crack/asscrack hasn’t been done before. Jesus. This is surely down there with defeat and cum lines at this point. It’s so fucking basic and wack conceptually I literally can’t believe anyone ate this up. This idea wouldn’t even enter my head in the thought process because it’s just readily established that these lines have all been played and used up to death at this point. Do you know how long text has been happening? Do you even know how many times this crack play would have been done? It’s legit older than some boarders here (shoutout Lenox and Bolo). This shit is OLD motherfucker. It should never be used. I can appreciate the at least attempt at humour but I just can’t look past how unoriginal and played thus shot is. You guys are legit dumb as fuck for liking that IMHO.


bones already poke through his skin before I slaughter this Ethiopian
one walks 5 miles for water, he'll go wherever the Needle take him

OH GREAT SO NOW IM ETHIOPIAN FOR SOME REASON OUT OF NOWHERE TO MAKE IT RHYME? Great, plus we all know how those ETHIOPIANS have so much food money to waste that they just can’t wait to form a drug habit with all their HARD EARNED CASH they have to just THROW AWAY on drug binges, right? FUCK FOOD, EAT DRUGS. Idiots. This shit makes no sense at all to me, the “one walks 5 miles for water” has nothing to do with the rest of the bar. It’s cringeworthy bad. Complete filler. The only thing here is the needle/Need’ll wordplay but without any kind of tie-in to make it work somehow, it’s just wordplay for wordplays sake in yet another line that uktimtely goes nowhere with no sting and offers nothing creatively, originally, or any kind of sting to it wording wise. It’s just... there. It falls flat. There’s no connection, no tie-in for the wordplay at all, the needle doesn’t even apply to the walls 5 miles for water bullshit. Read it. Tell me I’m wrong. It’s a wack fucking line that goes nowhere.

no self worth he's just a broke jerk who will never make shit
bitch face it...your such an addict if I threw a Smack you'd happily take it!

WOW so we’ve covered crack/asscrack earlier, and no we arrive at Smack as in Heroin and an actual SMACK in the face. This lines a smack in the face to anyone that ever took their pen seriously. It’s yet more elementary basic wordplay that has been done time and time again, it wasn’t great the first time it was done in 1997 and what do you know... it still isn’t almost 30 years later. The amount of smack lines done before is just innumerable at this point. Everyone has done it. Smack rappers have done it recently, it’s still played out as fuck and needs to be avoided. I legit can’t fathom how people are using these, and even less so how garbage wordplays like these are getting props in 2018. Jeez. This is not good, I don’t give a fuck if this your first year of text or your tenth - everyone worth their salt knows this shit is absolute trash. Dumpster juice. Not worth anyone’s time. It’s legit another of those wack ass played concepts that wouldn’t even come to my mind when writing because I just automatically know they’re fucking trash and avoid them like the plague. Honestly, this shit is LAUSBLE to me for entirely all the wrong reasons. The fact it got props is so bad.

drugs got him feeling super, thinks he the strongest bitch to exist
not a hero jus cus Mary Jane the heroine to ya story an u Shoot from the wrist

This is legit one of the better ideas from the verse, I keep it 100% real at all times, I liked this one. It’s your best. It was clunky wording wise because you tried so much, but I at least appreciated that you went hard putting it together. Mary Jane for weed has been done, and this did seem like you recycled it from the Marvel round early on. Almost like you had the concept in mind and chose to sit on it, you got Drug Addicts this round and realised it was semi applicable. You lucked out, IMHO, but I did feel this was your best and I’m not afraid to say that.

give this addict a quick Hit, he won't feel it til next week!
a slap so hard palm readers can see his future bleak by his red cheek

I dunno about this one, I’ve seen the imagery done before, it could be a reference to Bleak from here that I just don’t get at all but it could not be. From the votes it seemed like no one else understood it either. Again, the wording is clunky, conceptually these imagery type lines have been done like “Slap you so hard, my fingerprints are on your skeleton,” etc. It’s nothing new, and the wording does it no favours, it doesn’t land well enough to hit either to me. It’s another case of the line being there but that’s just about it. No impact. No zing. No humour. There’s not even humor to it unless Bleak is involved without us all knowing. Fuck it. I don’t like it. Voters didn’t either. I can’t be missing much.

gave a penny for his thoughts..he spent it on the closest crack being dealt..
going clean?! E such a loser for the skag he sees a hoover for its Bag, Pipe n Belt!

Who the fuck is E? I’m not E anyone, no idea what you were doing with that. The concept was a bit better here than you have had, the worded again kind of took away from its impact, it needed to either be harsher or funnier and ended up neither - stuck somewhere in the middle not knowing what it was meant to be. It’s one of your more creative lines, but again lacks sting. I’d probably just give it an “Okay,” tbh and keep it moving.

cus u bout that Rock look, shook black bitch all itchy n vile..
shit your one Hit away from his New Jack City smile

OH I’M BLACK AGAIN NOW? Fantastic, love that, well done. This line goes nowhere. Wack conceptually, doesn’t deliver anything, falls completely flat likethe opening line IMHO and especially as a closer for the verse this is poor as guck. No creativity. Nothing fresh. No impact. The verse just fizzles out to nothing of note. Forgettable bar overall and ends of the poor note it started.


Please breakdown how this verse was best what I put up in any way, I don’t see it at all. This shit is garbage. I’d love to hear your opinions on what’s so fantastic about this verse bar for bar.

im not reading all that, but for what its worth you should've won. I'm not gonna vote in shit that zelph jews me out of tho

LOL I fuck with you my dawg, but that line garbo for reals

So gone

On second read you actually did win but I’m not about to cheat Ryno out of the finals lol I made a promise

This is funny on so many levels Lars.

Awful.

Sup netcees I've returned from the land of ice and giants.

Iceland with love

Qualm definitley has qualms.....

I knew I won that shit retrospectively

I challenged everyone to break down why that verse was good and explained why I felt its garbage and no one refutes it at all, Ryno is legit wack and got lucky because Zelph helped him out to a cheap hollow win

Glad ppl are now seeing it for the robbery it is

Dullboy’s vote should still count too, even @Ryno can’t refute that

Your verse sucked you didn’t win

You didn’t even get that “3 sheets to the wind” means being drunk or that alcoholics have the shakes and get jaundice which leaves them with yellow skin

The verse is bound to suck if the moronic voter doesn’t have the basic intelligence requirements to understand the lines smfh

you're legit the worst voter this tourney. your vote should be DQ'd if dullboys should

i'll be back to breakdown why my verse was superior for you all later

Lars go hit a blunt and relax enjoy the finer things in life like Dominican food.

Sure thing Lars.

Dominican food is trash man

@Barcotic

Haven’t seen a single person say they see it as a robbery lmaoo

@Amen is this gaslighting??

when u count Scotch as mouthwash ur in trouble yo
bein’ three sheets to the wind ain’t cool faggot, that ship sailed longgg ago

Okay, apparently Zelph is too stupid to know that "three sheets to the wind" is a term to describe being drunk? Okay. What has three sheets/sails to the wind? A SHIP! Holy mother of god, so difficult to catch the line. The line itself isn't difficult to get, it's simple, it's direct, and it's creative enough to not have been done a hundread times over like crack/asscrack/smack wordplay has been. It's all relevant and applicable to the opponent. It's a line tailored directly to the competition and not just some concept fudged from a previous round in the tourney. This is how it's done. It's executed somewhat comedic, it's lighthearted but sets the tone and does the job it was meant to do. Fun, original, relevant and to the point.

can’t stand u drunk or sober, findin’ weed I forgot only adds to the fun
it was Movember last time you had ur ‘stash last you the month

The "'stache/stash play has been used before, no doubt, but this one has the fresh spin on it referring to the stash of beers the alcoholic would hide. It also ties in the Movember thing of growing a moustache for a month which has never been done before, to my knowledge. It's a fresh take. It's directed at the opponent themselves. it's relevant. It's current (The month of November had only just finished). You really can't refute it, this is nice. I don't see how anyone can doubt otherwise.

im catchin’ a buzz, ur catchin’ a bus to work & gettin’ taxed
if eyes r the windows to the soul then its fittin’ u look permanently smashed

LOL setup is fire. Punchline is worded absolutely dope, the permanently smashed is obviously a reference to the drunkards and their eyes. They look SMASHED. What isn't there to get about it? Jesus christ. It's simple, it's direct, it's effective and it's worded better than anything Ryno could butcher. This is prob LOTB to me. I don't care what you schmucks think. You're idiots if you don't see that's fire. I don't know what to tell you. Flames.

ur a worthless piece of trash, type to sell ur own kids for a jar
ur only a stay at home dad because its cheaper than buyin’ drinks at the bar

LOL I guess people didn't find this as funny as me, I personally loved it. I was saying he stays at home drinking because it's cheaper than heading to the bar, making him a drunken deadbeat dad who only chose to spend time drinking at home when he was meant to be minding his kids because it was cheaper, otherwise he wouldn't be home. I think it's nice, not as well worded as the line previous, but I fucked with it and felt this one was creative and original even if it didn't get the lulz I felt it deserved. It's still good.

pissed as a fart, but gettin’ wasted alone’s for losers & deadweights
even Clark Kent’s heart leapt at how u turned to a booth for an S-cape

Fire. Dope concept, well worded, applicable personal directed at the opponent directly - this is what you all need to be aspiring for. It's creative, it's original, it doesn't just read like some paint by numbers text shit with overused played wordplay that has no tie-in to the rest of the line. It's a bit out of the box. It's not your low hanging fruit of text where you use the first things that come to mind for concepts.. you can tell it's been mulled over until a more obscure concept has come to mind and been worked for. It works like a charm. Completely original.

fuck u and ur headspace where #BlackLiversMatter be soundin’ viral
that ‘casque-aided inner vicious cycle’ that lead to ur downward spiral

Yoooooooooo this was probably one that went overheads so I'm gonna get in to it real quick. The set up is fire. #BlackLiversMatter because alcoholics get blackened livers from drinking, but thats just the setup... Alcohol gets stored in a casque. It ferments. It's brewed. Get it? That "casque-aided inner vicious cycle/ Cascaded in a vicious cycle." that lead to ur DOWNWARD SPIRAL. CASCADED. IN A VICIOUS CYCLE. that lead to your DOWNWARD SPIRAL. Picture a cascading circular cycle... it would form a downward spiral effect.FUCKING HELL, THAT IS LEGIT 100% MORE CREATIVE THAN ANYTHING RYNO DROPPED. It's pure fire. Slept on heavily by you guys, tbh. You missed out on that. It's dope.

this round it’s final, im off work w/ a golden handshake thrown in for measure
ur Golden Handshake consist of onset jaundice and uncontrollable tremors

LOL so apparently Zelph thinks this has nothing to do with alcoholism? He must be dumb as fuck not to realise alcoholism leads to jaundice which turns their skin yellow. And alcoholics get the shakes in their hands. A golden handshake you could say if you actually had a brain that could associate the similarities between the term and an alcoholic. It absolutely applies to the opponent, it's creative, it's fresh, it's not been done before. The same things I value more than tired overdone wordplays and basic concepts that anyone can come up with. I find an angle and I work it, I don't go for the kind of boring shit everyone else can think up, I like to keep it 100% fresh as fuck.

if we grab a cold one together, it’s only cuz I’m tryna dead you in a flash
see ur ‘MT’s a Mount the world over’ only til i wipe this legend off the map

This one was probably slept on also, it was a difficult one to word, but the actual idea was dope. "empties amount the world over" as in empty bottles BECAUSE HE'S AN ALCOHOLIC DAMMIT. The thing with this one is also to do with Mount's like Rushmore and Everest being abbreviated down to "Mt. Rushmore, Mt. Everest" etc. So lets look at it again... "Your Mt's a Mount the world over" GET IT NOW? an Mt is a Mount all over the world... until i wipe this legend off the map. The legend is the part at the bottom of the map to describe what the abbreviates used mean etc

It's another dope idea, creative, aimed at the opponent, maybe too clever in truth. It probably proved too hard to word for ppl to get it entirely. It's definitely good and goes beyond the thought process Ryno's stuff did. You had to think about this.

Lol now that I reread your lines you def got killed

yea man, I agree w/ zelph

Baron Mynd’s Trashy Lines

Think so Lars?

This

https://i.ibb.co/y8BCD6P/434-B44-F3-...-B47829-D8.jpg

don’t ever doubt me Seth

Is that in here or in that wack tournies threads?

Lol infiltration is always in someone’s inbox

Sneaky bastard

nope, not Inf this time either

which round did you make it out of again?

my PM inbox

not that it matters

the opinion is still valid just as valid, if not more so, than the fact dullboy has a legit vote cancelled out for no reason at all

I wasn’t in the tourney, still undefeated champ of nc atm

Just feels like your forcing this thread

Are you upset I hit 3k in two days while telling you I would use you to do so?

@For Battling you liked the Palsy line? Lol no wonder we lost our tag team match.

aka Zelph let a wack as fuck topical head make the semis with Ryno over picking you to take part

being too shook to sign up doesn’t make you undefeated, it makes you a shadow lurking pussy

faggot

I see you’ve still yet to defend yourself or your shitty ass verse? Actions speak louder than words IMHO. You know you lost with that garbage. That’s why you ain’t speak up or make your opinion known. I’ve spoken on why your verse was bad and mine is superior. I didn’t even get into the fact you have no multies at all and even from a technical standpoint mine was better. You had cheap irrelevant racist played shit vs my creative angles and better wording. Whoever said originality wins battles obviously lies, familiarity obviously wins out because I’m familiar with all those old ass bars you had littered throughout that trash. Fact. Why else wouldn’t you defend yourself? Why else wouldn’t you breakdown why you felt your verse was good and compare and contrast the two as to why you feel you won and deserved to go through ahead of me? The simple answer is you can’t. This shit is indefensible in my eyes. You dropped trash and lucked out on dullboys vote being cancelled out without prior reasoning as to why. I had the momentum going my way. If a fourth vote had come in at that point to break the tie, it would have been for me. You know it. The likelihood is right there in front of you. You stole my spot. I won that shit. We both know it. You deserve at least some black mark putting against your name if you do end up getting no showed in the final round and somehow champing this shit. You’ll be a paper champ. That’s it. Nothing more. It’s an empty title because I got cheated out of what should be mine. I’ll gladly take apart the winner after you’re done just to prove it should be my name in the sub forum as champion. Whoever takes it at this point isn’t even relevant anymore in my eyes, Karaoke said I won. Dullboy said I won. Flow real messaged me saying he was drunk when he voted and picked the wrong guy. MMLP told me I won. No one thinks you won at this point, not even you, Ryno. Your demeanour says it all. Your heads been low this entire thread, speaking into your chest and mumbling quiet nothings because you’re unable to defend that shit in the face of the aftermath where the proofs been presented for all to see. It’s obvious. I even took time out of my busy day to break down exactly what factors were at play that lead to my verse being the better of the two and why you lost. It’s irrefutable. Anyone suggesting otherwise is either hating or trolling or both. Bitch ass shit. Alcoholics made a spectacle of themselves and if you feel otherwise you must be wearing either beer goggles or Rosé coloured glasses.

#BARS

No mate and i aint really want to argue aboit this but fuck im not going make it basically..... maybe in like 5-10 years i might have a chance and sure i might have more than others but a house in the uk at the lowest on auction is 30,000 pounds and thats on auction.... then if you want a car the cheapest car you can find sure is 2000 but its not very nice then you gotta pay to get a lisence which costs at least 1500 pounds.... and because i smoke weed or at least used to and ill fucking probably smoke again im not going get a job even at mcdonalds for minimum wage....


Okay fine some british people are very nice people but there is an extreme difference here between the rich and the poor..... i just hope to god they dont stop my benefits because its not much but its just enough to live off of and i struggle to do that and possibly in 5-10 years i might make it maybe longer, but i just dont really believe that the uk average citizen will let me get those things because of my addiction to pot thats why im pissed off....


Forget it i dont want to argue whatever say what you want... but im pretty sure my life is fucked and im 33 years old these should be the best days of my life i dont know what i want i just think they should be either more reasonable with these outrageous prices for things or i dont know im just going to have to be okay with not having much and probably never getting it... cause the only people that could afford that shit i dont know i have no idea i guess people who dont do drugs and have very good jobs.... i have no idea i dont know anyone like that...