Adonis |
05-19-2014 07:48 PM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulstice
(Post 337850)
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?p=337848#post337848
some further insight into last weeks piece^.
if anyone would like to begin a dialogue with me about their own piece, let me know. talking about it would be a constructive way to improve and diagnose your own writing post-battle without fear of swaying.
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I see it now, and the fact that they have names should have been a dead give-away. I know JM allowed a line extension, but this is one of those rare cases in which using an additional say, 12 bars, would have enabled you to express more. It was a solid verse, as I said, enjoyable. But it felt like it was missing something in terms of you explaining shit more clearly, I'm saying, I'm obviously not going to admit to being a dumb reader, so it must be ToopicalDood5's fault right?
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