Not really, it is precisely the same.

Gayness and embarassed doesn't rhyme.

The rhymes in general were very basic tbh you did ok tho.

i rhymed gayness with stages and wasted, its cause with an audio verse hard to keep things line for line like written word. u gotta keep things basic for mainstream, i should post a vid of j cole talking bout transitioning from complex to simple gotta find it

alot of people dont know j cole used to write raps on message boards, but around 3:30 onthis vid he gets into it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ_zaLu9iSg

1shot1kill

i cant keep up with the retard paradigm you guys have on the world, like ur shit is hot. so pathetic

Dex your style doesn't mesh well with these guys, but you aren't bad. this was alright.

thanks man i respect that ^

If you are older then 18 i will never feed y9ur pieces again.....

C9nfirm or deny

^word man...word...

So.......you are older?

im a university student if i wanted to use the right diction i would bro. but theres something you need to understand. your a lightweight. 10,000 posts means nothing your not a heavy weight like i am. i used the "u" and "embrsed" diction because thats the way fracture did it back on bboys.com way before you. thats where text game began was with him and others similar. most of u dont know anythen about that the origin or anything, your late to the party by a few years and i can tell by your writing and your attitude. u just dont get it

but even they had it wrong, because they only had half the equation. they had the right idea, but they hid behind a computer screen and an avatar and never embraced the true beauty of music because there was no music, just words

You're not making music either

But listen

Every site has its own style that it prefers, the OM on this site just happens to lean towards a style that is a little less hip hop than most. I rap too man. But I don't rap the majority of the things a put up on here. They are works all on their own having little relation to hip hop besides the rhyming.

If you don't like it, fine, it's just not your steeze, but we're not the be all end all here. Don't fight with the people on this site because they don't recognize the ability in your drops, just be about it.

That's about as reasonable as I can get

So....you are older?

i am making music, im on my way to doing it. this retard scripture universe turned me to ashes, its only right that i start here

So.....you are older?

Why don't you just make music?

I'm pretty sure that's the best way to make music.

hip hop music requires sound and words, thats what im doing here. finding my identity

How old

I'm gonna leave you genuine feed. No troll, this was nothing special. The rhymes were very basic and the flow was predictable. If you want to rap, then write your verse to a specific beat that you choose and then practice your delivery. Add inner rhymes to break the monotony, and add multis and metaphors and such. Because as I see this now, and god don't get offended again, I can tell your just beginning and trying to find your style.

Allot of guys here could give you great pointers on executing what you're trying to do, which is rap, but if you disagree with everyone who says you're not good then why would they waste their time? You say none of us will ever make it rapping, but really none of us want to. What we DO know is how to write. Listen to real advice, and please stop being obnoxious when someone says something negative. Seriously. Peace.