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09-06-2013 09:30 PM |
PYTHON VS. KOMODO DRAGON
WILD BOAR VS. COUGAR
HYENA VS. BONOBO (battle of the week)
KANGAROO VS. MASTIFF
komodo dragon vs. python is tough but i got the komodo dragon. the pyton could definately squeeze the guts out of it, but i see it like YO
THEY SQUARE OFF. THE KOMODO IS LIKE WTF THIS BIG ASS SNAKE IS FOLLOWING ME. SO IT TURNS AROUND LIKE WATUP B DON'T YOU KNOW IM A FUCKING DRAGON. SNAKE IS LIKE HMHMHM IM EVIL. DRAGON RUSHES. SNAKE STRIKES. SNAKE HAS STRUCK OUT AND BIT AND LATCHED ON TO ITS SHOULDER. THE KOMODO STARTS GNAWING ON HIM. THE PYTHON BEGINS TO TRY TO WRAP. THE KOMODO IS FLIPPIN THO. BEING A G SHAKING OFF DEATHS EMBRACE. EVERY SECOND DEADLY BACTERIA IS ENTERING THE PYTHON, AND AS IT STRUGGLES ITS BLOOD PUMPS THE BACTERIA THROUGH ITS SYSTEM. THE DRAGON LOSES GRIP AND THE PYTHON STARTS WRAPPING, THE KOMODO BITES AGAIN. THE PYTHON IS FUCKING DRUNK FROM POISON. HE STARTS SQUEEZING HARD. EVERY BREATH THE KOMODO EXHALES THE PYTHON GETS ANOTHER COIL ON HIM AND SQUEEZES MORE. THE PYTHON IS FALTERING WITH THE DRAGON. THE PYTHON IS TOO FUCKED UP TO FINISH HIS DEATH GRIP. HE BEGINS TO DIE AND THE KOMODO CONTINUES BITING AND GNAWING IT TO DEATH. CLASH OF TITANS.
that might actually be the battle of the week. and i dunno the python might get him. they kill gators, but gators are dumb as shit, slow and don't got the agility
wild boar vs. cougar
BOAR DOING BOAR SHIT. WATSUP OH SHIT HERE'S SOME SHRUBBERY SNORT SNORT. COUGAR UP THE HILL. STALKING. BOAR NOTICES SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT. WHERE DID THE BIRDS GO? THE BOAR GETS PISSED AND STARTS THUGGIN. HUFFIN AND SNORTING. CHARGING AT NOTHING. THE COUGARS CHILLING LIKE LOOK AT THIS DUMB MEAT HEAD. THE BOAR KEEPS UP HIS CHARGES AT NOTHING UNTIL HE REALIZES HE'S JUST STONED FROM THE MUSHROOMS HE FORAGED AND DECIDES TO RELAX. (INSERT COUGAR SCREAM "RAROWROWWWWWWW") BOARS DEAD. NEVER SEEN HIM COMING.
HYENA VS. BONOBO.
THE CHIMP IS THUGGIN. HE JUST NUTTED IN SOME SLUT CHIMP WHO'S BEEN GOING FROM TROOP TO TROOP AROUND THE JUNGLE. SHE SAID HIS BALLS WERE DOPE AND HE'S PROUD. A HYENA EMERGES. QUEUE THE SWIRLING BATTLE SCREEN AND ANTHEM. THE CHIMP GOES APESHIT. HE CHARGES. THE HYENAS LIKE WTF THIS NIGGA CRAY. SORTA DOES THAT DUMB DOG BACKSTEP. CHIMP IS UPON HIM. HE THUNDERS DOWN A SLAP AND GRABS HOLD OF THE HYENA AND STARTS BITING HIS SIDE/SPINE. HYENAS LIKE YELP WTF HE'S GOT THUMBS. THEN HE REMEMBERS HE'S A HYENA AND HE HAS THE MOST POWERFUL BITE FORCE OF ANYTHING. HE SPINS AND BITES THE CHIMP AND BREAKS HIS ARM. THE CHIMP LETS OUT THAT OH SHIT I GOT TRANQUILISERED SQUEEL. THE HYENA PRESSES THE ATTACK. HE GETS DONKED ON THE HEAD WITH AN APE HAND. THE APE GRABS HIM BY THE LEG AND THROWS HIM INTO A TREE. THE HYENA TRIES TO ESCAPE. THE CHIMP GIVES CHASE. AS HE IS CATCHING UP THE HYENA TURNS AND BITES HIM AGAIN. THIS TIME IN THE SHOULDER/ARMPIT. ARTERIES ARE HIT. ARM IS MANGLED BEYOND USE NOW. CHIMP TRIES TO FLEE AND IS MURDERED IN A ***OPHANY OF YEEEOOOORP SOUNDS.
KANGAROO VS. MASTIFF
BIG DUMB ASS DOG RUNS UP ON KANGAROO. KANGAROO DISEMBOWELS IT. THE END.
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