Originally Posted by Big Game (Post 36245)

Anyways, here's a verse for you.

u're generic as fuck. every1 would say u're a real herb
cuz ur verses ain't direct'or personnel...& mine are scorsese collaborating w/ spielberg

This right here had some creativity but it is self-glory and don't cut it where I'm from. Maybe if there is a little bit in the set up or beginning of the punchline but not for the end of the punch. Putting that self-glory at the end is meaning that it's what you want the punch to be based on.

Well, I'm clearly dissing him. But as I say that I am better at what I criticized him for, I can see how you might call this self-glory.

plus we germans had cruel ways to leave jews and such deceased
but if u kill some1 w/ 'gas, strik'...it stems from that area of ur body, u disgusting freak

I don't like how you ended the punch here. It is on some amateur shit if you ask me (you disgusting freak)

Okay. Oh, it was a nameplay by the way, as my opponent's name was Strikta.

& dude's working in a restaurant. but for this bitch, it's decent
his american dream: from dishwasher to dishwasher not addicted to kitchen cleaners

That didn't rhyme for me. (decent/cleaners) I mean, I know what a slant rhyme is but that was forced.
And I don't understand this at all

Well, he did work as a dishwasher at that time. And he had a reputation of getting high on cleaning detergents. Plus you know what the American dream is: From dishwasher to millionaire. Also: clean·er noun \ˈklē-nər\ and de·cent adjective \ˈdē-sənt\. Notice how the vowel sounds are exactly the same? ē and ē and ə and ə.

dirty bitch. u wanted to join a jamaican posse & everyone gave u hell
they said stay away from the shower. ur pics show u followed that advice way too well

Yea, don't get this. It's definitely a personal that i would need filled in on

He wanted to join a gang called Jamaican Shower Posse.

plus getting beat up for the n-word doesn't make u strong or hard
i bet u loved watching the django premiere, but cheered at all the wrongest parts

Lol - that was funny but not too much more complex than my shit

It wasn't meant to be complex, as it relied on its humor. Yes.

see, i'm edgy cuz my old girl won't accept she must now fly solo
...the only kind of denying ex tension YOU know is the way u won ur 1st rd by noshow

Damn - LA don't give wins for No-Show - it just goes to No Mans Land. I guess dudes name was ex?

People that are noshowed on have to advance in a tournament obviously. And no, dude's name wasn't ex. I'm talking about the girl I referred to in the setup.

& strik knows what a real redneck has to do after getting down w/ a hottie
he doesn't care who that Horus. he'll just Falcon punch the kid outta her body

More nameplay: it's hard to judge this because there is a lot of history within it. But I can tell you that it is all that complex.
Just being real with you

Not a nameplay at all. Horus/whore is. Horus is an Egyptian god with a falcon head.

Originally Posted by Allen Knight (Post 36275)

big game u brought ur fiddle here??

Originally Posted by J.R. (Post 36268)

aight ima do this jus for you...and ima honest type nigga..ima always keep it real wit you...so ima drop you sum feed

u're generic as fuck. every1 would say u're a real herb
cuz ur verses ain't direct'or personnel...& mine are scorsese collaborating w/ spielberg

aight now this line was nice, but it wasnt a punch line...you Big Upped yoself..it started off to be a punch then when you started talkin about yourself it went to you uppin yoself

Okay. I know what you mean. Still, I clearly dissed my opponent and then just went from there, saying I was better at what I criticized him for. But oh well.

plus we germans had cruel ways to leave jews and such deceased
but if u kill some1 w/ 'gas, strik'...it stems from that area of ur body, u disgusting freak

once again...gas strik was goin nice then you jus flat out called em a Disgusting Freak...you was boutta make a punch but then you settled jus for a basic insult

If you look closely, you might notice how it is a punchline that had an insult tacked on at the end.

& dude's working in a restaurant. but for this bitch, it's decent
his american dream: from dishwasher to dishwasher not addicted to kitchen cleaners

aight seriously...i got homies that not in tha US and english aint they first laguage either..but this did not Rhyme my nigga...are yall ridin his nuts that hard that yall gone say it did?

I posted the Merriam-Webster pronunciation of the two words.

dirty bitch. u wanted to join a jamaican posse & everyone gave u hell
they said stay away from the shower. ur pics show u followed that advice way too well

ok i guess that was a personal...but look what you did with it..that coulda been a hot line if you woulda formed a punchline out of it..but still just another insult

How is it not a punchline? I really don't get that. It has a clear concept (the shower wordplay). Did you read that he wanted to join the Jamaican Shower Posse? Well, I really don't know how you cannot see a punch in there.

plus getting beat up for the n-word doesn't make u strong or hard
i bet u loved watching the django premiere, but cheered at all the wrongest parts

theres a punchline my nigga...but it wasnt to hard hittin but atleast you didnt jus flat out call em a "retard" or sum shyt...

I think you mean 'too hard-hitting'. Also, I'm kinda lost on your definition of a punchline. Could you please elaborate on that?

see, i'm edgy cuz my old girl won't accept she must now fly solo
...the only kind of denying ex tension YOU know is the way u won ur 1st rd by noshow

[I]um this was not to hard hittin...but you coulda did sumthin really nice with this...ima give you an example[I/]

You might want to put the I after the /. Isn't the BB code automatic, though?

blah blah blah blah blah.......you Been a Clown
you rappin in Circles, cuz a noshow is tha only time you can Win A Round

you see what i did there..i took it and punched..but you have no internal rhymes no transit lines goin into your next bars
look it all comes down to preference...if thats yall style over here then i caint knock...who am i to judge but i am gone keep it real with you tho

Do you realize that the line you just posted is horribly played and would never fly because of that? Honest question.

& strik knows what a real redneck has to do after getting down w/ a hottie
he doesn't care who that Horus. he'll just Falcon punch the kid outta her body

oh i missed this one...i actually liked this line lol

Thank you.

Sass

Originally Posted by dead man (Post 36285)

this thread just set txt back 10 years..

lol @ "expos" and "metas"

jeeeeesus

Originally Posted by NAQ (Post 36298)

SASS... that shit sound like it's made of fairy glitter. Nigga name is a gay fart onomatopoeia...
Wtf is taking so long with the fb pic thefts and roasts hanh!?