Nah I noticed that Tbh, I just was not a fan of the word choice u utilized to deliver the. Multi scheme... Bc even for colloquial wording and despite the multi string the words individually appeared basic on there own... Like stuff I would expect my younger nephew in grade school to say... N I do t want u to take that wrong bc it sounds insulting... Like the words independent each other and the rhyme scheme, on a si gle word for single word basis were kind of relative to a child's vernacular more than an adult... And mental behavior wise sadists rnt typically dumb ppl, fucked up yea, but not uneducated.. So I'm referring more to word CHOICE than word use
. If u get me

i mean, i really did put thought into it, made sure every character directly said 'Hello' at the point where the last one's story concluded, and made the entire coincidence of meeting believable. I literally considered that, so its hard for me to sit back n let someone tell me it wasnt devloped enough, while in the same post, Pent uP gets praised for his 'creativity' - as if that drop is structurally or linguistically different from any other one of the hundred topical dropped on forums last week. go find a topical u can compare fairly to mine in the last 6 months. Good luck. Pisses me off

Look I never said I felt it thoughtless. Like I said I knew u were bright prior to reading, and from my to make something appear thoughtless sometimes required m

well yeah, when i write an omniscient or 3rd person impersonal topical i got vocab comin out of my ass, i really wasn't lying when i said i'm a published poet lol, but i was speaking in the vocab that my characters would use. Bleh, theres no way to push my argument further without coming across as arrogant so Ima leave it there. Thanks for reading n considering my shit, pce

no, you didn't but some the votes said, or implied that,

DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER, DEGRADATION OF SPIRIT, SLANDEROUS AND DANGEROUS ABUSES OF POWER. NO, NO, NO WHO CAN STAND FOR THIS? A GOOD OLD OXFORD BOY OF CAMBRIDGE STOCK EDUCATED DOWN BY LONDON ROAD. WHY HIS VERY NATURE IS BEYOND REPROACH. IT IS OUTRAGEOUS TO THINK OTHERWISE. STUDY THE EVIDENCE IN QUESTION. IS IT REASONABLE TO THINK THAT THESE ARE THE DIMPLED CHEEKS OF A MADMAN? NO CERTAINLY NOT! STUDY THAT UPSTANDING HAIRCUT AND FASHIONABLE (FULLY-ZIPPED) JACKET. CLEARLY THIS IS THE VERY PROFILE OF A LAWABIDING CITIZEN. THIS SO CALLED “DISQUALIFICATION” IS MERELY THE VINDICTIVE ACTION OF A PETTY TYRANT.

I never said it was thoughtless. Like I said before I knew u were bright prior to reading, and from my experience sometimes to make something something appear thoughtless requires more thought than not. Moreover writing a story requires thought and planning for sequence of events n character development. But understand that when u write on a lower comprehension level ur readers are going to read on that level, so although u may have clever subtle literary devices and things within the writing ur readers have already developed expectations and are not goin to look for those devices because their expectations s blind them to it... And u can't fault them for that... U can't give someone a pbnj sandwich and then and ask them to identify the region that the grapes were grown in... Bc simple put it's still a pbnj sandwich... But if ur given a gourmet panini u have the ability to ask what ingredients they enjoyed and stuff

the biggest mistake young writers (in any format) make is the assumption that awesome vocab and complexity make for a good piece.

Its not true, think of the last novel you read, how many times did you have to reach for the dictionary? not many, right? Does that mean the author has a shit vocab? nah, course not, they consciously avoided that interruption - making a story accessible IS the skill

- a general rule of novel writers is 'don't include more than one stand-out word per chapter' ... you can look that up, it's a well known staple, inexperienced writers may get carried away with impressive words, but in the end, they aint doing anything a thesaurus can't do. Pacing, character, accessibility, POV, narration, these are the proper tools to learn how to handle. Had all of em in my verse. how many did pent up have? it was a series of bars based loosely on the root concept, no character progression, no story, first-person cop-out, nothin, i dont care what the voters think, it was trash

Rant over, im goin to bed, peez

that was quite funny. props to u

That was my attorney lol

and that's not always true, moreover in novels u have context clues to aide the readers

lol u still have to cast ur vote btw n I know u will, but imma say it anyways, vote honestly

i will

Gutted @ being no showed, could I get some feedback on my piece at least?

@Figurative @Flo Real @Rawn M.D.

i actually agree with you in so far as the 'loosely based root of a concept' being exploited, but many textcees do this, @Pent uP shouldn't be singled out for it

great examples are SacriFICE and Three Planes Aligned, two who've won just about everything there was to win with that style

I got u a little bit later today @Brian Bryan I'm on my phone currently and HATE giving feed from it... It's tedious n I feel like the quality of my feed suffers as well

do u want it in here and I'll '@' u or in the Om bc i seen u post it in there as well?

yeah just keep it to the OM forum

it looks better for activity

gutted @Figurative didn't show

do wasted verses get like some no-show shine in the mag or what?

Na but ull get 1 point out of 2 for showing and u can get the second point out the 2 by voting on three matches

dope

voting tonight then

surely he should take all the points for winning? @Brian Bryan ill hit it up now

That's how they ensure that no shows vote tho @Flo Real

aaaa makes sense