Lmao @ I couldn't do that in a week

You can get this work, I aint even mid tier

No need for the negativity here. I'm being all friendly too. Plus, I'm just trying to help you see where your weak points are and how you can improve. If you really want, I can quote some verses here, too.

And yes, I got your lines. No worries. And yes, it wasn't bad. For a quick drop against someone really bad, it might even be enough to win. But would you call your line wordplay creative? I mean, honestly: Can you really say that you're proud of yourself for that line? Because I'm sure you yourself have seen that type of line done maaany times before. Hell, even J.R. just posted a coke line here. :(

Yea well he still terrorizes S Africans (or ar least did)
I aint disagreeing that the verse isn't top notch - definitely aint my best and like I said I wrote that verse very quickly. And I had no info on dude - he has like 5 posts and no info except his location.
I can deal with the criticism - but now you produce something.

You guys are serious too, that's the best part.

lol

This nigga wack as shit.

That comment was aimed toward Split.
I say they are played but it depends on how you use them.
I'm talking about not wasting my lines, he's talking about taking in the lines.
I see your point though, I even commented on his line in that verse too when he dropped it. (shoulda caught that)
But I don't really look at played "concepts", more less played "bars" or "lines".

"The LRA operates in Uganda, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Central African Republic and South Sudan."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Kony

Nope.

Anyways, here's a verse for you.

u're generic as fuck. every1 would say u're a real herb
cuz ur verses ain't direct'or personnel...& mine are scorsese collaborating w/ spielberg
plus we germans had cruel ways to leave jews and such deceased
but if u kill some1 w/ 'gas, strik'...it stems from that area of ur body, u disgusting freak
& dude's working in a restaurant. but for this bitch, it's decent
his american dream: from dishwasher to dishwasher not addicted to kitchen cleaners
dirty bitch. u wanted to join a jamaican posse & everyone gave u hell
they said stay away from the shower. ur pics show u followed that advice way too well
plus getting beat up for the n-word doesn't make u strong or hard
i bet u loved watching the django premiere, but cheered at all the wrongest parts
see, i'm edgy cuz my old girl won't accept she must now fly solo
...the only kind of denying ex tension YOU know is the way u won ur 1st rd by noshow
& strik knows what a real redneck has to do after getting down w/ a hottie
he doesn't care who that Horus. he'll just Falcon punch the kid outta her body

If you don't get a line, ask me. It's probably a personal.

Aye Snoop aint came at me wrong. And me and Sass aint shamed to show our skill. I mean if the debate is who has skill and can hold up - then you shouldn't be talkin about nothin until you drop somethin - feel me

i read through yall shyt...and yall no concept or meta's/wordplay/punches...

you was reachin so hard to pick apart my verse...LOL sumthin like a hater...i even tried to take yall serious



Sass

That was a dope one Sn00p.. wasn't expecting that.

Great battle that was.

lol english aint even sn00ps first language an he would mangle u 2 retards

If u still say metas.

Chances are text isn't for u.

Please look at the verse I just posted and then say that again. Honestly, take a look at it.

Word. You had a verse I coulda put up here too. But they wanted one from me. Good shit though.

big lame i am ready for u to consume me, prepare ur mouth

Quick little feed from my phone. You seem to have your fundamentals down, but the concepts were generally a little lacking. I'd recommend signing into AOBL, a few weeks of that would really shape you up

Director personnel/ direct or personal
Gastric/ gas Strik
Denying extension
and personals

ya can't be serious about no name plays/ wordplay

They still say METAS

As in metaphors.

lmao gtfo w/ that bullshit.

Anyways, here's a verse for you.

u're generic as fuck. every1 would say u're a real herb
cuz ur verses ain't direct'or personnel...& mine are scorsese collaborating w/ spielberg

This right here had some creativity but it is self-glory and don't cut it where I'm from. Maybe if there is a little bit in the set up or beginning of the punchline but not for the end of the punch. Putting that self-glory at the end is meaning that it's what you want the punch to be based on.

plus we germans had cruel ways to leave jews and such deceased
but if u kill some1 w/ 'gas, strik'...it stems from that area of ur body, u disgusting freak

I don't like how you ended the punch here. It is on some amateur shit if you ask me (you disgusting freak)

& dude's working in a restaurant. but for this bitch, it's decent
his american dream: from dishwasher to dishwasher not addicted to kitchen cleaners

That didn't rhyme for me. (decent/cleaners) I mean, I know what a slant rhyme is but that was forced.
And I don't understand this at all

dirty bitch. u wanted to join a jamaican posse & everyone gave u hell
they said stay away from the shower. ur pics show u followed that advice way too well

Yea, don't get this. It's definitely a personal that i would need filled in on

plus getting beat up for the n-word doesn't make u strong or hard
i bet u loved watching the django premiere, but cheered at all the wrongest parts

Lol - that was funny but not too much more complex than my shit

see, i'm edgy cuz my old girl won't accept she must now fly solo
...the only kind of denying ex tension YOU know is the way u won ur 1st rd by noshow

Damn - LA don't give wins for No-Show - it just goes to No Mans Land. I guess dudes name was ex?

& strik knows what a real redneck has to do after getting down w/ a hottie
he doesn't care who that Horus. he'll just Falcon punch the kid outta her body

More nameplay: it's hard to judge this because there is a lot of history within it. But I can tell you that it is all that complex.
Just being real with you

At first I thought v would be mad cuz y'all showed them what it really is. But they look oblivious...
Smfh

Interesting....now, can you tell me what I meant by that and what the punch might mean?

Nope, because u don't know the history behind it.

Also....I am a better writer than you.