Hello, thank you. Tell me how this applies to me. Focus on me right now. Frank case #007

Lately I've thought about what you said, but it's harder to live with knowing than not. However, since I am mentally aware about my own state I am actually kind of afraid of what I might face on that journey. It is hard to let things be when you are a thinker like me, specially being open about things and always looking for several answers alltho' an answer may already have been given. The hardest part is being satisfied with what's presented to me and it eats me up on occasion. Due to this I think I have learned a lot about myself (thank God that least something positive came outta it) and I am afraid that with the diagnosis I've been given (dysthymia), I think I'm on my way to develop manic depression and would like some hints on how to prevent that from happening before I end up in a position where that diagnosis can be given. Well, since it is classified as a genetic disorder and it is an extremely severe condition I guess doctors etc. would have picked it up already, or have they? Either way I identify myself closely with 90% of the symptons on this list and could have done that for the past 10 years: http://www.webmd.com/depression/guid...nic-depression. What do you think the next move for me should be? Also; I'm on sleeping meds now, been prescribed Vallergan and I try to stabilize my sleeping pattern.

More importantly; I'd like some tips on how I can take charge of my own life instead of feeling (completely different from being) dependant on those around me as I feel the connections I make is more important than breaking them in order to do what's needed to stabilize and keep a healthy mental state. Also; the friendzone is a bitch. I also want to add that I reached these answers because you told me about my defense mechanisms. Thanks a lot for helping me to put them to light so I can better myself and the life I am living.

lol I might have that shit too @Objective

If that's the case you should seek professional help asap. Knowing how to deal with the hardship is half the battle, the other half is surviving it.

nigga I'm a g stop. that hereditary shit is bullshit bc with different life experiences my psyche would be radically different. I can cure myself to be real.

don't think like that NYC. that is denial.

so you feel dependent, but aren't?......

Pretty sure @Vertias would agree on the fact that you can add Denial to the list of defense mechanism you have as well. My father was a G too, fucking albanian mofo. At a party once pakis decided against beating me up once one of them told me who my father is, I don't know why they wanted to beat me up tho'. Guess they were just being stereotypical pakistanians. Either way, the beef was settled after that. Truth be told; My father was a crazy motherfucker, but even he needed a shrink. Fuck, even Tony Soprano had a shrink. Da fuq you on about? Stop thinking you're any different just because you're you.

Edit: Fuck, Veritas beat me to it. Haha, but yeah. Wouldn't hurt. Give it 10 serious sessions with a great shrink, you wont regret it.

thanks for your input but I'm right to be honest, it's not denial lol...

lol it's just my opinion dawg. don't get flustered about it, I can relate to many of those symptoms but IMO they are rooted in parenting, enviornment and the decision making process more than hereditary

it is. you really think you don't need someone to talk to>?> you got the world in the palm of your hand>>?


Even us shrinks gotta have counseling before we counsel bro.

and also NYC...if you ARE depressed...you do not want to sit in it. pm bro. or call...6019173913 I will listen.

Exactly. I have a bunch of friends, family members that cares. But still I feel dependent on extremely few people as opposed to just letting things go and break connections when I know it's hurting me in the long run. You feel me?

I feel like I have to keep these connections because human relations are extremely important to me on any level, even if they're bad.. If that makes any sense. Even I realize how fucking stupid it is to continue such friendships but I still can't get myself to break them because I'm somewhat afraid of what'll happen after that. I think it's because I think I'm not in charge, when in fact I am.
I don't really look upon myself as someone that's insecure since I often am the center of attention at parties and I don't give a shit if people I don't know talk shit behind my back. I was closed up in elementary and satisfied with the friends I had, but now it's switched and I feel like it's a race to have as many friends and groups of friends as possible and attending parties every weekend and being the ''cool guy''. I think I've turned into the male version of a fucking teenage attentionwhore in my mid twenties while not reaching the level where it's easilly identifiable and/or annoying to those around me.

It's also extremely important for me to have different impulses from different people; I know skaters and I've been skateboarding for quite some time so I know at least 20 skaters in my local area where I skate with 5 of them on occasion. I hang out with anti-weed people and mormons only to go to parties where people don't do shit but smoke a few days later. Ya feel me? If just 1 connection should break it's as if my world would crumble and I'm afraid that it's the start of something where I'll lose the rest as well. So I'm keeping unhealthy friendships based on that, read: the friendzone I'm dealing with atm being the main issue right now. I can't get myself to break it because I know me and her are extremely alike and we have fun when we're hanging out together. We know eachother and understand eachother on a level I can't with others, yet I can't seem to get rid of the feelings I have for this particular woman even though there's other options available at this very moment. It's frustrating.

This on top of dysthymia is extremely challenging to me as I'm having a shitload of fun when I'm outside, only to come home and be miserable for no fucking reason. I often find myself to deal with sudden depressing feelings when I'm hanging out with people or watching movies by myself as well, I'm a master at concealing it so it has never occurred to my friends, even the close ones, that I'm dealing with shit like this. (the reason I realized that manic depression might be a realistic diagnosis to me and why I googled it to read more about it). Either way I am in no position to self diagnose myself, I aint Freud either.

I'm not seeing a therapist at the moment allthough I absolutely should, I'm sick of seeing shrinks to be honest since I've been to a few already. Starting a new relation with one seems to be a shitbunch of work as I more often than not end up not being there due to my random sleep cycle, so I don't think I'll make any appointments until I get my sleeping pattern on track which I hope to do with the prescription given. What you'd say here is to go see one either way and get it started, but it's hard to keep it up due to the situation I find myself in at the moment.

So, do you think my plan is good to go and something I should aim towards? Basicly; What would be your advice to do from here on out?

I need time to unravel the knot you just tied...but I see some openings.....give me time to think on this sir.

Sure, take your time.

Also; if someone should read this, but doesn't feel like talking openly or to someone on a forum, and can relate to some of the stuff I wouldn't hesitate to speak to someone, or at least check out which options that's out there. It has improved my life at times where simply existing has seemed to be an impossible task. It is extremely underrated even if what you're dealing with is on a minimal level.

I'm a Libra. Why do you want to know this btw?

I'm trying to help you understand your self.

Today is 11/18/13. what is your birthday?

Your lulzy attempts at trolling doesn't work on me bro. Better luck next time.

That said; I will most likely disregard anything you say towards me in this thread. You have also successfully made me think you are dumber than what you've made out to be earlier on this board. Peace.

October 7th, 1988

Ok