brokenhal0

I feel like not having a story to mine definitely left the door open for you to drop a storytelling piece and that likely worked against me tactically, you definitely flipped what I came with on its head and turned it around back on me so that was strong also, I probably shouldn’t have been as predictable and gone for the comparison between us both - it wasn’t my most inspired choice all in all and you probably deserved more from it than the two single sentence votes you had your way just not even breaking things down after you wrote 60 lines of material. No bullshit, just my straight up opinion. I wouldn’t tell it any other way.

It’s not just what’s being said, but how it’s being said, and I thought the word choices there were strong to create a mental picture in the minds eye of the reader for a visual. The final stanzas closer with the mention of the camera flash momentarily having “caught the shark off guard,” was nice too, because you had to be honest - There was no word from you all week and I thought maybe you were noshowing so I didn’t end up writing the full 60 and kept it at what I had which was around 40(?) I think. It was getting late the night before it was due so I just tied up what I had and dropped something save no-showing.

The meek evolving was another nice jab, don’t recall many (of any) pointing that one out either offhand but I got it. It’s subtle but it’s there. The weight of its own skins was nice too, even caught the horror wording reference thrown my way. It has layers, for sure, the naming of the shark and then “How the devil did I sink to this?” was fire. I actually wrote mine and was sort of kicking myself that I didn’t go for a STORY because it felt a bit one dimensional just having this extended metaphor on us both and the league or the site, really, there was only really so much I could explore with that one angle without beating it to death. The shark references and imagery in those verses (I think third and second from last?) were dope to me, I really liked “A testament to years of ruthless survival,” aimed at me but also just the simplicity of something like “It’s lifeless eyes, black and soulless,” really conjures up a great description of the creature using just a few select words.

I thought you did really well conceptually, I don’t know if you wrote that with an idea as to what I might go for or held off it until after you saw my drop and did something… but I thought what you put up was almost like a response to what I did, addressed the different points about rising up from the bottom and whatnot, I’m not entirely sure everyone even caught the “laws of seven” reference if I’m honest because none of the voters mentioned it but I caught it - I’m aware of Gurdjieff and that there are always ups and downs in our lifetimes, vibrations cast that have cosmic domino effects throughout the universe. They slept on that one somewhat in relation to the image, no doubt. The whole calling my bluff thing was a nice way to end that section, you set your stall out early and I was like “Oh shit, he flipped it on me here!” haha!

i just try get amped up so i drop better bars, dude
hal0...yeah its quackery yeah YOURs ARENT quackery-imageryMind fuks ok lol
Yeah keep playin possum like AJ
I kno ur not real I ASKED CUZ UR BEING DENIED entry on your League-join attempts due to accusations of Already being a Participant in the league.>>

Is this crazy ^?

I am officially requesting the identity of your main Alias, and if you'd be so kind #3,&4 as well.

A decorated editor has personally re-reviewed your old Santa Topical verse:
HOF-worthy and shoulda won, let alone NOT be swept. lol.
This place has changed since then though.

Have a verse?

pharaoh living life

.5 is past tense

living life